Best Friends F̶o̶r̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ For Now

Three years ago, I let go of a friendship that spanned over the best part of 18 years.

Like a sister, we shared with each other our school problems, our secrets, drunk nights out in college and the occasional disagreement. We’d bonded at 5 years old, knew each other inside out and had remained unbreakable.

When friendships thrive for many years like this, it’s hard to imagine that something could stop it dead in its tracks. Us girls are taught from an early age to invest in our friendships. Almost like a marriage, a friendship should be watered, fed and fixed — not abandoned at the first signs of strain.

Despite what my heart wanted from the predicament I faced, my head ultimately won the round, and I called time on my half of the female power duo.

And the reason: it had become toxic; toxic to the point it was irreparable and not even time could make things change.

So Here’s What I Learned

• There is no such thing as forever
• It’s not realistic to be on 24hr standby to pick up the pieces
• I shouldn’t apologise for having a job, having family or other general commitments
• It’s not normal to feel drained, unhappy, stifled, fearful
• Flavour of the week is very real
• If they bitch about others they definitely bitch about you
• No amount of time invested is worth the sacrifice of your mental health
• Sometimes, you need to be selfish
• I don’t miss her
• I feel no regret
• I don’t mull over the past
• We all move on
• I feel happy

But Most Of All

To never let social media’s idea of a #FriendshipGoal get in the way of my own expectations; I am no longer the doormat she used me as and, frankly, I’m happier than ever :)