Stop Criticizing Others, Rather…

Before I complete this phrase, let me share a story.

During the Battle of Gettysburg, Robert E. Lee’s army faced an impassable river while they were retreating. Lincoln ordered General Meade to pursue Lee and end the war.
But Meade hesitated and did otherwise.

Lincoln wrote to Meade:

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My dear general,

I do not believe you appreciate the magnitude of the misfortune involved in Lee’s escape. He was within your easy grasp, and to have closed upon him would, in connection with our other late successes, have ended the war. Your golden opportunity is gone, and I am distressed immeasurably because of it.

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Guess what? He never sent this letter. It was found after his death. Lincoln often said, ‘Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.’

I know criticism is important. ‘Constructive Criticism’ as they say.
But people can’t differentiate between what is ‘constructive’ and what is ‘destructive’ at the very moment of criticism. It just comes at you, hitting you on your head.

And it often doesn’t lead to the desired results. It doesn’t lead to any compensation. It just leads to a feeling of alienation. It just builds an ego that is hurt.

People will still justify themselves, walk the same way, talk the same way, and mock the same way.

Yes, it is natural to be angry with others. It is natural to chew people out because they don’t realize their mistakes, right?

And besides all this chaos, even if you try, it is far more difficult to hold back your emotions in this era of instantaneity.
We don’t write any more letters, as Lincoln did, to express our refusals. We don’t get any time to cool down our emotions. We don’t get any air to breathe consciously while we are expressing our annoyance.

But then, what can we do?
We can appreciate people’s efforts.
We can appreciate the things they did right.
We can appreciate every little story.
We can appreciate every little glory.
And when we have to, we can criticize with grace.

Because:
- You don’t know their situation
- You don’t know their past
- You don’t know their emotions

For an ideal work culture too, remember Naval Ravikant’s advice: ‘Praise Specifically and Criticize Generally.’

Finally, the last quote :)
‘Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof when your own doorstep is unclean.’

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