Get over work-life balance
Brutal honesty. Most of the people who talk about work-life balance are either disingenuous or using it as an excuse.
Case in point. I’ve heard senior executive after senior executive talk about how important work-life balance is.
With one caveat… they didn’t actually do it themselves to get where they are. And the people who work for them aren’t included in this group of people who should be exercising a work-life balance either, at least not if they want to make it to the next level.
Do as I say, not as I do.
You want to succeed? Put in extreme effort and then repeat.
Consistent effort over time, usually a lot of it, is what results in success.
Here’s an idea, stop worrying about balance and start being present where you are.
If you’re at work, be at work. Be targeted and focused on what you need to accomplish. On what moves you toward your goals.
When you’re with others, be present with them. Instead of staring blankly at a TV screen two hours a day be present with the people you love. The question isn’t whether there’s enough time in your day, it’s how you’re using the time you have.
When someone tells me there’s just not enough time, it’s hard not to point out the amount of time they spend on social media, watching TV, or any other massive waste of time they engage in.
Do you know where your time is going? Honestly?
Here is a time management experiment I have those I mentor complete.
1. Create a spreadsheet with 15-minute intervals. Leave a place to write down your top priorities for the day (scroll down for an example of the one I use).
2. Every 30 minutes to an hour go back and log what you did during each 15-minute interval. The point of the exercise is NOT to schedule your day in 15-minute blocks, it’s to log your activity afterward.
3. At the end of the day go back and review how you spent your day. Take a highlighter and highlight everything that moved you closer to accomplishing your priorities for that day or your goals in life.
4. Reflect on how you spent your time. Did your day move you closer to your goals? Did you accomplish your priorities?
The point I make with this experiment is that we leave so much time on the table every single day. Not only that, but we rarely know where our time went. There is enough time if we use it to accomplish what we need to. When we waste it, we fail.
The question I ask of my mentees is, “how much time did you actually spend working towards your goals today?” It’s so easy to feel like you were productive just to see that you only spent a one or two 15-minute blocks on them.
Success requires significantly more than 15 or 30 minutes a day.
Success takes massive effort over extended periods of time. Anyone you think was an overnight success wasn’t. Success requires a foundation. The greater the level of success desired, the greater the effort required to build that foundation.
Listen, it’s ok if you don’t have the drive of Grant Cardone or Gary Vaynerchuk, but stop talking about work-life balance as if it’s some kind of moral high ground.
It’s a conscious decision you make to work less. Don’t complain when the results don’t match your expectations.
What I am not saying: I am not saying don’t spend time with those you love. What I am saying is that when you do, be present. Put down the phone, the iPad, and turn off the TV. You’ll be miles ahead of most families, including the nine-to-five 40 hours a week types.
What I am Saying: Be present.
What I am not saying: I am not saying to work 120 hours a week.
What I am Saying: What I am saying is to focus the hours you do work on what matters.
What I am not saying: I’m not saying don’t sleep. Sleep is important. Here’s a crazy fact. If you sleep eight hours a night, you still have 112 hours left. What are you doing with those hours?
What I am Saying: There’s plenty of time to get the sleep you need AND accomplish your goals.
What I am not saying. I’m not saying that you have to work 80 hour weeks. It’s ok to work 40 hours a week and go home if it is consistent with your purpose or “why” in life.
What I am saying: Your hours need to match your purpose. If how you define success requires 80 hour weeks then work 80 hour weeks.
Put in the effort required to get the results you want and stop using work-life balance as an excuse. Use your time in a consistent, focused manner, and you won’t need to.
Know your purpose and then put in the work required. You are the only one who can make it happen. The truth is most people who talk about work-life balance are really just saying they want to work less and that’s fine. They’re the ones who have to live with the results.
The truth is that my words may come off as a little harsh, but there’s a reason. Our time is the most valuable thing we have. No one ever looks back over the last ten or twenty years and says there’s nothing they wouldn’t change. We would all spend our time at least a little differently.
Acknowledge this and work towards using your time more efficiently and in a way that is aligned with your why. Then you won’t have to worry about work-life balance.
Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment or start a discussion with me on twitter.
Dan’s passion is growing and developing the next generation of leaders. He has decades of experience as a leader and mentor through his time in the military and law enforcement. Interact with him on twitter @dantruex
