You Are Where You Belong… Take Responsibility
I belong where I am
I tell myself this every day.
It is a simple statement but with layers of depth.
It means that I accept the responsibility for where I am in life… whether that’s good or bad.
It means that I acknowledge that the little actions, those seemingly insignificant decisions, play a profound role in my life.
There’s an analogy I use about two pens I own. Both are nice pens, and both have a lot of meaning to me. The pen that cost more and is arguably nicer is the pen I use every day, and have for years. The pen has been from Baghdad to Wailea. It has gotten a lot of use.
The other pen has not. I use it to sign major documents in my life… my marriage certificate, both daughter’s birth certificates, contracts, you get the idea. Important stuff.
The analogy didn’t strike me until recently. That the nicer of the two pens is the one I use every day. It records the minutia. The little things. But it’s those little actions, the little decisions, that lead to the big things. It’s the small decisions that we make every day that determine not only who we will be but where we will end up in life.
Internal locus of control is the idea that you control your life.
I belong where I am. My life is my responsibility.
Your life is your responsibility. No one else has to live your life. No one else gets to live your life.
Feeling sorry for yourself? Fix it. You’re the only one who can. No excuses.
People like to use “fault” as an excuse. As in, it’s not my fault that ________________ happened to me. And they’re often right.
But fault does not relieve you of the responsibility to take control of your life.
Jon Morrow is paralyzed from the neck down. The only thing he can move is his face. He suffers from spinal muscular atrophy. To make things worse, a teenager, late for work plowed into his vehicle at 85mph.
Excuses would have been easy. And people would have understood. The guy was already in a wheelchair, and someone practically ripped the front end of his car off. Over his lifetime he has had to deal with over 50 broken bones and numerous surgeries.
If he had spent the rest of his life staring at a TV no one would have blamed him.
But who would have been the one who had to live his life? He would have been. Everyone else would have just felt sorry for him.
And what would that pity do for him? Nothing. It wouldn’t have paid the massive medical bills he was accumulating. It wouldn’t have made him feel better. Wouldn’t undo the paralysis. Nothing.
He used speech recognition software to start writing. He rapidly became one of the most popular bloggers in the world. Odds are that if you’re reading this, his net-worth is more than yours. Even more importantly though, the guy is genuinely happy.
He has taken responsibility for his life.
When you start listing reasons why you’re not in control, why where you are in life is not your fault, you’re simply making excuses. Most people are fine with this… it’s their parents fault, or their genetics, anyone or anything but them.
But excuses fix nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Your options are simple. Take control or accept that life controls you. It’s a choice not a circumstance.
You make the choice by accepting responsibility through every little decision you make. When you decide to get up an hour earlier to exercise. When you decide to give something your best effort instead of the mediocrity most people accept, when you refuse to let others pull you down.
It’s your life, and you can change it in an instant. All you have to do is take control.
I belong where I am.
Liked the message? Read about lessons learned, winning success, handling adversity, the importance of who we friend, and lessons for my daughters.
About the author:
Dan’s passion is taking his experience and helping you apply it to your day-to-day life in order to define and achieve personal success. He has decades of experience as a leader and mentor through his time in the military and law enforcement. Interact with him on twitter @dantruex
