Managing 20 & College

Aside from the struggles of dating, having friends, and family stuff — college is the hardest struggle in this 20-something age. It messes up your sleeping, eating, and self care management. On one hand, I’ve cried a total of 80 times this week because I overthink everything. EVERYTHING. On the other, I feel like I’m not doing enough to say I deserve to get my degree(s). What I realized was we [20 somethings] put so much on our plate at one time and soon understand our eyes are bigger than our stomach. By that I mean, we know what we want out of life, success, but we don’t realize success isn’t just given because we say we want it. It comes with long hours, sacrifice, breakdowns, and even being so frustrated you want to give up.

“I want to drop out, I can’t do it” I said to my mother. I just knew she was going to tear me a new one, but to my surprise she just asked if thats what I really want to do, do it. I was shocked at how she reacted, because she’s big on me finishing school. I was so set too. I just knew that this was it, I didn’t need to be here. Looking at finishing school these past couple of days was like knowing how close you are to winning a race, but noticing how far away from the finish line you are.

If I was to drop out, what would I do? Would I be happy sitting around all day? Or, would I be completely okay with the fact I got all the way up to my junior year to run back home? Hell no. The stress I assume we all have in common is if we’ll be okay after we’re out of our universities/colleges. If the 50-plus hours we spend trying to attain something so close, yet so far away is worth it. Or, simply rushing ourselves to have it all done and figured out by the time we graduate. It strikes me how we think we’re running out of time just as adulthood has begun. For instance, the idea that if by a certain age we don’t achieve what someone the same age as us has, means we’ve failed. May not be everyone’s thought process, but majority of us know the exactly what I mean.

Making a post on my social media about wanting to give up thinking it would go unnoticed, I woke up to a lot of comments, texts, and missed phone calls. The amount of people who I didn’t know were watching me reached out and shared their thoughts on my progression through my college career. People I haven’t spoken to in years, applauded me for doing what most people passed up the opportunity to do, whether it was granted to them or not. Those who are currently in my same state of mind took the time to motivate me because they, just how I am for my readers, understood that trying to take in everything at one time can cause a person to want to quit. Instead of making me feel bad, they gave me words of encouragement. Today was that day for me, but it also was a day to understand that there are people counting on me to do what I do best — succeed. Having the day to pray, nap, and even speak to my rational go-to people, it made it clear that I’ve come too far into my journey to let it all go to waste.

To all of my 20 something dealing with anything making you consider giving up, don’t. Take a step back (or several) to reassess everything you want and need in your life before even thinking to give up. Whatever the situation is, remember you’ve dealt with a trying time before, so why not allow this to be like any other time you’ve gotten through? Yes, life throws so much at you at once, but we wanted to be adults so bad. Now that we’re here, we (20 somethings) have to change all that we can not accept, and accept all that we can not change.

There are so many sites that have helped me, but I’m more of a handheld person. If I can’t read it in a book it won’t process the way I would like it to. I bought Iyanla Vanzant’s TRUST novel and going chapter by chapter, I learned to trust myself. Trust that no matter how bad I want to give up, I can’t. I shouldn’t. I won’t. Giving up isn’t the easy way out in the end. I encourage all my readers to Pray (even if you aren’t religious) and to know that success never came to people who gave up.

If you know anyone struggling with the idea of wanting to give up, check on them and reassure them that they are way bigger than any battle they face. Secret struggles most times lead to drastic and irrational decisions. Reassurance is the best cure to a doubtful mind.