Oh, this is the worst, isn't it? My youngest is autistic, and there are people in her life who refuse to acknowledge her feelings when she is able to articulate them (or when she is telling us her feelings through her behavior). The answer always seems to be to make her comply, despite her feelings, or because her feelings aren't valid. Which is a load of absolute crap. I can't stand it. I do everything I can, but I am not the only person in her life. Does a child not deserve the same autonomy and dignity as an adult?
