Growing up

How are things going, kid?

Do you remember the pieces that you left behind ,

In a box carefully put in the dark of your childhood wardrobe?

You forgot the glue that sticks them together,

The jigsaw puzzle is quite scattered

In forgotten corners of your memory,

And now it all comes down in the choices that you make as an adult.

Can you remember the way mother wore her lipstick

Like now she wears her regrets,

The glasses are bigger, the wine keeps pouring.

She gave up smoking when she had you, but now when she’s alone and

Things that she can’t cope no more turn into cigarettes and the cough,

Do you have a cold ma?

The way she curled her hair and your desire to be that reflection,

You would hide in her room, when she was gone,

Dress in her skirts, going through her make-up and putting on her heels,

How many years until I can be like you?

But the road you’re running on goes in another direction,

it’s not made from the same stones,

and you’re not made the same,

and you know your stardust shines in a different light than your generations before.

Unashamed and selfish,

You want so much more, more than you can grasp,

On your path, you wonder, are you doing the same mistakes?

You’re calling everything an experience because you fear of shading your regrets on the line of your lips.

Are they different? Are they worse?

Walking so much for them to find out you can’t draw blood from a stone.

You fight so hard for independence and solitude,

But Sundays always find you drowning in the sorrow of being lonely.

You’re a contradiction, you beg for love and acceptance,

But you’re so hard to handle, always in love with your misery,

And anchored by ghosts, that you can’t see, they’re not there,

But you think of them all the time,

Ain’t the sky clear,

When all the stars are covered by fire and smoke.

It’s been a fight all your life,

From the first man who made you question your existence,

To the never ending why.

You were never there, so I had to learn how to run alone,

On a deserted highway

And when you came, you came crushing and tearing

So I wonder, in every encounter

From you, I learned to taste the cold on their lips,

Those who do not wish to stay,

To unfold my silence and my words,

Those who made me taste the saltiness of darkness

Never held me in your arms,

Couldn’t get out of bed for days.

An endeavor to kiss their lips to find out they taste of loneliness and rejection.

Selling myself short, only to lie myself in finding love.

You’re not curling your hair like your mother,

But you love the same as her,

An icy touch to delay the ache of your soft heart,

the burning soul wanders into the naked night

starving.