Me and my “MISTERHOOD”
Meet my mistaaas—my father, furbaby and fireman.
On Valentine’s Day, I think about the people I love. Like the women in my “Sisterhood,” my best girlfriends and sister; they’re the gals in my life that give me unconditional love, support and friendship – they’re my sistaaas! But, who are the men in my “Misterhood?” Three guys rose to the top of my list: my father, furbaby and fireman—they’re my mistaaas!
My father—Mr. Lido Andreoni
“My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.”
—Clarence Budington Kelland
My daddio is my numero uno, because without him, I wouldn’t be here. He will be 93 years young this year and is happy, healthy and full of life. I hope I got his genes. When I ask him what his secret to living a long life is, he says, “Eat what you want.” This may seem like an unusual reply, but it makes sense to me, because my dad loves to cook. He is Italian and makes succulent dishes from his father’s homeland in Lucca, Italy, such as homemade raviolis and roasted fish. And he also makes gourmet meals that are better than most fancy restaurants I’ve visited, like a wonderful crispy duck roast with orange sauce and flavorful rosemary-spiced lamb. His cooking has inspired me to cook, too. He taught me that cooking together with family and friends is a wonderful way to share love and express creativity.
My dad is also a great storyteller. He presents his life experiences, and the cast of characters that he’s met over the years, in ways that make me laugh, because when he talks, his facial features and body language get overly animated and his hands start waving in different directions as he emphasizes certain words. He’s great at capturing my attention with his interesting storylines, pausing just long enough to draw me in before finishing with a funny joke.
If I ask him a question about someone or something that has happened in his life, he’ll say, “Read my book.” My dad wrote his memoir ten years ago and called it, “Under the Catalpa Tree.” The meaning behind the title is based on one of my dad’s childhood memories; it’s about a bench that sat under a huge catalpa tree where folks from his neighborhood gathered and talked about their lives. After reading it I learned many new things about my father. One chapter that stood out to me was titled, “The Best Years of My Life,” which was when our family drove out west to California to see the Pacific Ocean. Along the way, we stopped at National Monuments to see the sights and my dad took photographs and movies of us kids hiking up mountain trails filled with wildflowers, doing acrobats on sand dunes and playing with starfish by the shore. My mom found beautiful campsites for us to spend nights in. And for dinner, sometimes my brothers and sisters and I waded in the cold, glacier fed rivers catching trout fish with our bare hands that my dad cooked on his Coleman stove. Reading my dad’s memoir, and learning about the best time in his life, gave me a heartfelt sense of nostalgia, because our family vacations spent driving cross country, camping and hiking, were not only his best years, but, as a child, they were mine, too.
I’ve always been proud of my Italian heritage. The Andreoni family came from a modest lifestyle just outside of the ancient city of Lucca in the Tuscany region of Italy. My dad, and his dad Solomano, my grandpa, taught me that to be successful meant taking advantage of opportunities. My grandpa, Sol, came to Chicago as an Italian immigrant in the early 1900’s, and soon after, he and his brother, Pete, saw a need for a grocery store in their neighborhood. (I can imagine them sitting on the bench my dad wrote about discussing their future.) Together they founded “The Andreoni Brothers’ Grocery” and it became a local success. Sol and my grandma, Dwilia, had three children together, the oldest being my father, Lido. As a young man, my dad had many different jobs: factory worker, entertainer, builder, National Guard, producer and cinematographer. It wasn’t until he successfully established his career as a meteorologist that he met and married my mom, Joan. In the house they built together, they created a loving environment to raise all five of their children in, (I’m the fourth child). Today, my dad still lives in that same house. My mom has since passed away from a long battle with Alzheimer’s disease; (Learn more about Alzheimer’s Disease and how it affected my mom’s health, Mom’s Killer Alzheimer’s—Reminder to enjoy life’s best moments.) but my dad is still thriving. He’s fortunate to have his health. And I’m grateful that we can still cook together and I can listen to his funny stories.
My furbaby—Mr. Paulo Andreoni
“Dog is God spelled backwards.”
—Duane Chapman
You might be wondering why I have my male dog included second on my list of mistaaas. Let me explain. Before I got Paulo, my first dog, Lolita, was tragically hit by a car and died; (Read about how her sad story broke my heart, Loving and Losing Lolita.) And then I was diagnosed with breast cancer; (I wrote about my breast cancer journey, Five Lessons I Learned from Surviving Breast Cancer.) My recent diagnosis, and the death of my first furbaby, left me feeling alone and scared for my future. So I got another dog, Paulo, to make myself feel better. At the time, he was a tiny, ten week old puppy. We formed a close bond, spending our days and nights together during my three month medical leave from work that I took to help me focus on fighting my cancer. The chemotherapy drugs my doctors gave me intravenously made me tired, so I took naps during the day to regain my energy. Paulo would snuggle next to me and give me comfort. When I felt well enough, we would play catch together; he made me laugh as he ran to fetch the ball and would trip over his clunky puppy paws. At the time, it was winter, and Paulo loved playing outside in the snow; (he got the nickname, “Snowshoes” because his paws were white and fluffy like snow.) During our walks through the neighborhood park, Paulo would leap up and down in the thick, freshly fallen powder, and leave behind his snowshoe-like paw prints as we walked back home. That was ten years ago and we are both still here, loving life and the beautiful outdoors. He’s since grown out of his snowshoes and into a strong adult dog. During summer, we head to the beach together, where he runs free, digs in the sand and leaps into the water, swimming into the waves to retrieve the balls I throw for him.
I’ve never had children of my own, so having Paulo in my life has made me feel like a mom—he is my furbaby and my responsibility. I have this living animal who depends on me day and night to feed, walk and groom. I named Paulo in memory of my oldest sister, Paula, who tragically died in her early forties; (Read the story I wrote about her struggles, Paula’s Perfect Storm, Anorexia, Alcohol Addiction and Depression.) and my favorite author, Paulo Coelho, who wrote the famous book, “The Alchemist.” I call him “Paulo the Lover” because, like most dogs, he is the epitome of unconditional love; he’s always there when I need a pal to hang out with or a furry hug. And he’s like my own personal bodyguard, following me everywhere to make sure I’m okay and growling at passersby who put out bad juju. In general, for my “God-dog,” he’s pretty chill, and most people adore his lovable nature. When asked what kind of dog he is, I say he’s an Australian Miniature Labradoodle. He weighs sixteen pounds, has a curly-haired, apricot colored coat and the cutest booty that shakes side to side as he prances down the street. When I look at him and he looks back at me, I see and feel his love for me; and I think to myself that he is all the God I need.
My fireman—Mr. Hajritine “Tino” Durovic
“My heart belongs to a firefighter”
—Diane Andreoni
My husband, Tino, and I met through a mutual friend who spent three years trying to fix us up. She kept telling me about this fireman friend of hers who was single, fun and cute. She thought we’d be perfect together because of our similar interests. But, we were both too busy, working and dating other people, to meet. Eventually, the timing was finally right for both of us and we had our first date. We met at a cafe called, “Bittersweet,” and drank coffee while we talked. During our conversation, I learned more about him and his life as a fireman. I liked that he was a good listener and had beautiful blue eyes. I also liked that he was my age, fifty-two—we’re one month apart, (he is older). Being the same age made me feel like we could relate to each other better because we both grew up in the 1970’s and 80’s and had the same tastes in popular culture; our favorite bands were REO Speedwagon and Queen; tv sitcoms, “The Dick Van Dyke Show” and “Gilligan’s Island;” and junk-foods, Hostess Twinkies and Ding Dongs, tv dinners and Cap’n Crunch cereal. After our first date we spent more time together. We had a lot of fun acting like kids, playing silly games like “truth or dare,” and having staring contests. A few years into our relationship, we bought a house in Arizona and became “Snowbirds.” Now we’re happily married, retired, and enjoying our free time together.
My fireman is also my best friend. I call him, “Tino Baninno.” Tino’s birth name is Hajritine. When he came to America none of his teachers could pronounce his name, so they called him Tino instead. He was born in Paris, France. His family is Yugoslavian. Tino’s parents moved him and his younger brother to Chicago when he was six years old. Tino couldn’t speak English so he began reading comic books to teach himself the language. He is super smart, speaks three languages, French, Yugoslavian and English and is a straight-shooter—one hundred percent honest about how he sees things in life. Sometimes his truthfulness annoys people or makes them mad, like when he says his favorite phrase, “F**k your f**king feelings.” He has the least amount of empathy I have ever known in a person. So why did I fall in love with HIM? Good question, lol. Well, he has a HUGE heart. I know that sounds contradictory, but if he loves you and considers you family or a friend, he will do anything for you. He is just an all around good guy, who tells it like it is, and is who he says he is — no bullshit. He also has a sensitive side that he would never admit to; on occasion he‘ll surprise me with his romantic gestures by writing me personal poems, drawing pictures of memorable experiences we’ve had together and getting teary-eyed during sweet or sad movies.
Tino is a retired fireman now. He spent twenty-five years serving his city, Chicago, and his country; (he spent time helping other firefighters in the post 9/11 clean-up efforts). Being a fireman and having both good and bad experiences on duty made him very resilient and able to compartmentalize his emotions. It also gave him the gift of having his own close-knit “Misterhood.” Tino considers the guys he worked with during his shift at the firehouse as family. He shares many stories with me of how they played pranks, told silly jokes and teased each other—their manly way of showing love. Tino still talks with his firehouse buddies on the phone and I often overhear him laughing. He’ll admit that he misses the camaraderie in the firehouse, but not the job. He’s enjoying his well earned retirement—doing this or that and then some. Every year, when a few of Tino’s friends from the firehouse come for a visit, I see firsthand how, in their brusque ways, they show that they care for one another.
My Misterhood—my father, furbaby and fireman.
“I love you man!”
Now that you’ve met MY mistaaas, think about who your mistaaas are, and be grateful for them. What would life be like without them in it? For me, I know that without my father in my life right now, I would not be able to appreciate his secret to living a long life, which as I said before, is to “Eat what you want.” The true meaning behind his words are enjoy life. Stop worrying about all the little things, like whether or not what you’re eating is good for you, just enjoy it because it’s good. And, my dog, Paulo, shows me everyday how to be more lovable. People don’t like being around angry or unhappy dogs, or humans, so I put a smile on my face and choose not to listen to all those negative thoughts swirling around in my mind; instead, I just laugh them off, like my husband. Tino laughs at everything. Life is short, so live it, love it and enjoy it. Here’s to my Misterhood; “I love you mistaaas!”
