Five Ways Mindfulness Makes Your Relationship Happier

Diane Barnett
Jul 22, 2017 · 2 min read

Mindfulness is an attitude to living that helps you be more open, compassionate, and self-aware. It involves deliberately directing your attention away from autopilot and negative, judging thoughts, allowing you to be more present and connected to whatever is happening right now. It’s not a big stretch to imagine that more mindful people might make better relationship partners. And now there is clear research support for this relationship. A meta-analysis published in the Journal of Human Sciences and Extension last year found that higher levels of mindfulness predict happier, more satisfying relationships.

Does mindfulness actually cause relationship improvements?

Before we go any further, it’s important to note that of the 10 studies that were included, only two contained a mindfulness intervention. The others just measured mindfulness and relationship satisfaction and found a positive relationship between them (correlational studies). This raises the chicken and egg issue. Do happier relationships make us feel more present and open, rather than the other way around? Although we don’t know for sure that mindfulness produces relationship improvement, at least two studies show that it does. But why? The answer may lie in how mindfulness affects the brain.

Below are five brain-based ways in which practicing mindfulness may help you have happier relationships:

1. Mindfulness helps us be more present and attentive

Most of us know how frustrating it can be to try to talk to a partner who is constantly checking e-mail or texts or whose attention is always on work worries. Mindfulness changes areas of the brain associated with directing attention and focus. Therefore, mindfulness can help us notice when we are on autopilot and redirect attention to whatever our partner is saying or to what they may be feeling and needing. This can help us be more loving and present in our relationships, which builds intimacy and makes our relationships happier and more connected.

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