You are what you think.
So what is your problem?
I have noticed a trend. This trend is dangerous only so long as one feeds it. What is this trend?
Becoming the identity of your "disease". Wheither psychological, spiritual or physical dsease. When you identify your disease, instead of allowing it to enlighten and empower, you become more of what that disease means to you.
What YOU THINK is exactly what you get. Think depressive, be depressive. Not a bad thing to begin with or to sit with or to ponder. The disfunction comes when you BECOME depressive because that's what you ARE. Did you see it? It is very sudtle. It often goes unnoticed at first- mostly because it is part of the disease running it's course to bring you into a higher/deeper/truer alignment with what you want.
This doesn't just work for psych issues, it works for genetic issues, cancer, degenerative and chronic disease ect. This IS why we have victim blaming as well. We LIKE to be able to lable it, we like to see what it is, how it shows up and be affected by what we are dealing with. And that an 'authority' who has researched x,y and y, is infact (just like your intuition says it was) what it is that we are dealing with. We love to wallow. How do I know this, because *I* do it and I love to get into the knitty gritty of said ailment!
The dysfunction, the perpetual thoughts, the never ending dark depression, the paralyzing anxiety, the dysfunction of adhd, the overwhelming fear of a 'misplaced' gene/dna sequence IS what you really want to experiance.
No? You say oh hell no! 'Diane you are point blank WRONG and ima unfollow you and throw you to the fb curb! I certainly do NOT want this. What the hell are you thinking?!' But yet you can't seem to 'snap out of it'. It keeps perpetuating. It keeps getting deeper and more debilitating. No help you can find is actually helping though... is it?
But here's the thing, we are humans. We go in cycles. We experiance high ups and grave level lows. This is not the issue. The issue is you identify with the disease so much so that if you were to let it go, what would you be now?
What would you be if you let go of that cancer diagnosis? What would you be if you let go of the identity that you took on being part of the abused persons community, or the ADD/ADHD community? The birthing/natural child rearing community? Would you be you? Or would you feel less because.... oh. That's a scarry thought. It's an ego trap. It is SCARRY AS HELL to think of letting go of a diagnosis, of NOT playing the role of the MTHFR or fibro sufferer.
But what if.... what if, one day, when you felt one of your 50,000 thoughts go down *that* road, you paused and simply FELT it. ACKNOWLEDGED it was there and just let it wash over you.
Yes, I have this deep, suicidal thought. I'm going to look at it. Im going to hold it. Im going to see if it's real. I'm going to hear it's treachery. I'm going to allow this voice 'ear time'. What if in this single moment we took an observation of what was going on and *why* we keep bringing these things closer, why they just keep happening, why I find some sick sadistic pleasure from this on some level....
Maybe I'm just talking a bunch of shit. But maybe, instead of going back down this spiral or repeating this cycle again, that single thought. That 1 out of 50,000 thoughts you think today, you simply paused and STOPPED BEING that which you are meant to feel instead. What would that change? What would that endanger? What harm would that do to you?
Yes, seek help. Take your meds. Eat clean and detox your body. Fortify your brain by tending to your gut health. But shift from drudgery and fear. Move into child like wonder over your ailment. Move into curiosity over your illness. Move into experimentation over your disease.
Why? Because you are so much greater than that which you choose to identify yourself by. You are not your disease. You have a disease, sure. But it isn't you and you don't need to suffer in order to make sure you are still alive and experiancing said disease. You experiance what you want, when you want to, how you want to. It only takes one thought to pause at, it only takes one different choice to bring in a whole new set of circumstances, and desires and experiances.
Want to experiance things differently and to move through your life differently and to experiance something other than pain, anxiety or flightiness? Pm me, I have something in the works that will help you to rewrite your experiance from the inside out.