I’m Coming To You As a Woman: Astrology of a Side Piece

Diane Cherry 🍒
Feb 25, 2017 · 7 min read
Side piece Olivia Karolyn Pope standing under an umbrella to shield herself from the fallout that she created when she split her knees for the president.

Side piece, slide, mistress, other woman/man; you name it! Romantic relationships are hardly ever easy and are often wrought with drama. A common theme in relationships, no matter what the generation, is the other woman (or man). So, being the drama-loving sag moon that I am, I’m going to give the aspects I see most when looking at the charts of side pieces. I have some of these aspects, so I’m not judging. And no, having one of these aspects or placements will not relegate you to a fate of side-bitch-dom.

  1. Venus square Pluto
    This is the strongest aspect in my chart. The square is an astrological aspect that indicates seemingly irreconcilable tension between the energies of the two planets involved. In this case, Venus (our affections, our love styles, how we behave in love, self-worth) is in a tug of war with Pluto (our obsessions, power struggles, transformations.) This indicates a subconscious attraction to unavailable people, difficult or impossible relationships, and secret relationships. Feelings are extremely intense, and these natives are often possess a lot of sex appeal (when they gain true self-love) and women with this placement can be very irresistible to lovers. Venus square Pluto natives can often find that they attract people who are unavailable and because they cant resist forming an addictive/obsessive attachment, they fall into these relationships. People with this placement also tend play victim in relationships, by either subconsciously choosing toxic relationships and abusive partners or driving their lovers crazy and then crying about it. Either way, this placement indicates an extremely strong and powerful sexual nature and appeal.
    Advice for Venus square Pluto: Negative effects of this placement are caused by the belief that you must play down your power in order to achieve in love. That you must be docile, soft, or not intense in order to not scare lovers away. This belief is rooted in insecurity. You were given personal power to use it, not to play it down for the comfort of others. Once you accept your power in love and the depth of your emotions as strengths and gain true self-love; you will have no shortage of options in romance

2. Pisces and Neptunian influences/Venus in Pisces
People with heavy Pisces and Neptunian influences love delusions, and are rather easy to take advantage of considering their kind and empathetic nature. They love to save people, are swayed by any sob story, and are more than willing to sacrifice everything in the name of love. I see this most with my fellow Venus in Pisces natives.
Venus in Pisces is an exalted placement, meaning it takes all the qualities of Venus and amplifies them, so that’s planet’s expression is the best it could be. This is a very fortunate placement, but people with Pisces Venus tend to get taken advantage of very easily. I know from experience. These people see the best in the worst people and can easily be sucked into a love triangle, especially if they believe that the cheater is trying to leave their lover or is being abused. We being to desire to be everything the person wants and needs, to give them the ideal love they aren’t receiving, to take care of them and love them. Actions are ruled by emotions with this placement and when shit hits the fan, the pisces venus is smacked in the face with reality and is extremely hurt. Its so sad when this happens, because the pisces venus or neptunian native was simply trying to give love that they feel everyone deserves.
Advice for Pisces Venus/Neptune: Stop making excuses for toxic people, stop trying to keep the dream of your relationship alive, stop getting swept up in ideals of what love could be. Your love is power, strength, pure, unconditional, and fantasy; but most people are not capable of reciprocating this affection. Draw clear lines for yourself. Keep yourself grounded. Resist the urge to give sympathy and love to everyone, not everyone deserves this. You’re too precious to sacrifice yourself in the name of love to someone who does not deserve it. Learn when to let go. Your love is your strength.

3. 12 House placements
In astrology, the 12th house is the house that rules of the facet of our life that has to do with self-undoing, secrets, our subconscious, where we are helpless, and transcendence. When it comes to love, people with heavy 12th house placements tend to like secret relationships, where they are both cheating or being cheated on. Turned on by secret relationships, affairs, and liasions; coupled with the similar self-sacrificial nature that we see with pisces influnced people, its clear why they would end up being a part of a love triangle.
Advice for 12th house dominant people: The emotional turbulence that comes along with a secret relationship and falling in and out of love may be fun in theory, but its a mess in practice. Cut that shit out and get out of your head, deadass.

4. Capricorn/Saturn influenced people.
As a Capricorn sun, I can attest to Capricorns being neatly put together in any arena except for romance. While they can be very romantic and accomplished lovers; they arent adept at handling their own intense emotions. Saturn influenced people also attract trials and tribulations and can be quite the pessimists. Venus in Capricorn can also be not so self assured in love and thinks that every person is unworthy or a cheater, which creates self-fulfilling prophecies.
Advice for Caps/Saturn-influenced people: Stop.

5. Heavily Aquarian/Uranus influenced people
These folks are the most fuck-deficient, “say I wont do it” people of the zodiac. Typically scared of commitment and highly prize their personal freedom. This makes being the other person so attractive for them, because they reap all the benefits of a relationship without actually doing any of the work or having to sacrifice what they feel is their personal freedom. They also tend to be emotionally detached and are less likely to feel emotional remorse for sleeping with a taken person.
Advice for Aquarians/Uranians: I could give advice, but ya likely wont take it. In any case, relationships aren’t a personal jail! You can still maintain your sense of self while in one. Don’t avoid them out of fear.

6. Moon square Venus
This aspect represents an irreconcilable conflict between what we feel we need (moon) and what we want (venus). This can cause someone to feel dissatisfaction with any relationship they’re in, feeling like they need more than one lover to be happy, or wanting someone else’s lover to feel happy.
Advice for moon square venus: the perfect lover doesn’t exist, learn to live with that truth and focus improving relationships you can make.The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

7. Mars in Libra/Heavy Libra placements
People with these aspects are extremely flirty, love to to be admired, and tend not to have heavy attachments or care for social norms. They like to flit around and spread their love, and can rationalize their actions with the quickness. They’re also attracted to these relations for the same reason aquarius is, to maintain their personal freedom.
Advice: Do you, sis.

8. Aries/Scorpio moon and Aries/Scorpio Venus
Aries/Scorpio Venus and Scorpio moon placements are in detriment, meaning they’re not good placements for venus or the moon. Scorpio moon and venus natives can be possessive, obsessive, insecure, and tend to resort to manipulative games to keep their lovers attention, and self-destructive ways to cope with their intense emotions. This is a perfect cocktail for someone who falls into the role of the other person.
Aries moon/venus are impulsive, and leap without ever looking. Whether its a one night stand or a full fledged relationship, these Aries placements are the mark of someone who is competitive and passionate, and can often take someones lover just for the fun of it.
Advice: Scorpio influenced: see the advice for venus square pluto. Aries influenced: slow down, think about any repercussion of your actions. If you can handle it and are doing it for reasons that arent toxic, then by all means. But if your reasons are rooted in self-hate, insecurity, or impulsiveness out of fear, then stop it 5.

Notable side pieces:

Olivia Karolyn Pope
Was receiving presidential peen on the regular. Hooked him on fantasies about making jam in Vermont. Made him divorce his wife only to rip his heart out by noting that their relationship was nothing but a fantasy/coping mechanism. A total and complete mess, an iconic lip quiver.

Marilyn Monhoe
Another presidential peen receiver. Sexily sang happy birthday to her man in front of his wife and several hundred attendees who knew of the affair. And did not give a single fuck . A sex symbol. Very Gemini.

Alicia Keys
Snatched a man from his fairly new home and wife, denied it for a while, then made a song about it years later titled “Blended Family (What We Do For Love).” Mess of a Sagittarian caliber. Poor Mashonda :(

Marla Maples
A losing hoe. Stole the attention of current day President Candy J. Corn from his immigrant wife and had an affair. Had a child by a man who talked about their infant daughter in a sexual way, and who thinks border issues can be solved with an extremely expensive and ineffective wall. No one really knows about her kid. Poor that.

LeeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian
Hoes. Cheated on both of their spouses and then tried to make a reality show about it. The show flopped.

Angelina Jolie
The only side piece that everyone likes. Her and Brad we’re smashing thru the taping of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Have an interesting synastry chart. We’re one of the most lusted after couples in Hollywood. America loves infidelity! Poor Jennifer :(

Elizabeth Taylor
My good sis Elizabeth! Poached her 4th husband from some women named Debbie’s home. Then went on to have 3 more marriages. And affairs with Richard Burton. An icon.

Monica Lewinsky
Bragged about giving oral head to then president, Bill Clinton, to her colleague. Messiest mistress ever. Her life since then has been defined by that one peen. Became a verb on the 2013 song “Partition” by Beyoncé.

Britney Spears
Allegedly snatched Kevin Federline from Shar Jackson when she was pregnant with his second child. Yikes.

Diane Cherry 🍒

Written by

21 year old hopeless romantic and jodeci stan from Crown Heights/Bed-Stuy. Life path 7.

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