Today is my birthday.
I have been living for more than a quarter of a century. Twenty-six years is such a long time, along with the experiences and lessons within it. If you ask me, how do I feel? I have mixed feelings: I am excited to face a new year of my life and I am a bit sad at the same time.
What makes me excited?
It is new.
New day. New Year. Everything that is new is always exciting me. I feel like I am a baby again now.
I am grateful.
I am given to have a chance to be in this life. The past year is a blessing. The new year is a gift.
It is hope.
The reason why we are here today because we still have hope in our heart. It can be anything. I hope in this year, i am able to be a better version of myself and be happier.
What makes me a bit sad?
A year has passed by.
In some certain time in the past, I let them gone for nothing.
I am here alone.
I am writing this blog from a house that is located in the middle of rice fields. Far away from those I love. It make me realize, for some moment of happiness, we remain alone even if we want to share this joy to them. Yet I know, we born alone, we are ultimately alone.
What happened last year?
I realized that last year is a life changing for me. I took some big decisions for my life. What happened made who i am. In some point, I am proud of myself. I did it and I am doing well right now.
These below a big picture of what happened in my life during the past one year:
- By a chance when i was living and working in Jakarta, I met so many interesting and famous people there. I could mention that I was very happy to meet Mr. Martin Aleida, one of the best writer in Indonesia. In many occasion, I also worked with so many companies in Indonesia, let say Unilever, PnG, and so on.
- I moved to Bali (Ubud) because of love. Yes, I resigned from my job and flew out to Bali.
- I was in love. A deep love. I gave love that I never imagined I was able to love someone with my weaknesses and greatness. For the first time in my life, I received love from someone in a deeply, sincerely and powerful way.
- I traveled to abroad. It was Philippines and Singapore. I like Philippines. The weather has not much different from Kalimantan, the island where I born. The nature is amazing. They thought I was a pinay because of my look. I have been in Malapascua Island. It is a nice island for snorkeling and chilling. Singapore is good, but very artificial in my perspective. It is advanced but I felt like no life when I was there. Maybe I just need to explore more to find its hidden diamond.
- I traveled around Bali and Nusa Tenggara Timur. Oh, I haven’t visited Amed, Lovina, Bedugul or some places in Bali. You still can ask me about Kuta, Seminyak, Ubud, Nusa Lembongan dan Nusa Penida. Yes, I highly recommend you to go to Flores, Nusa Tenggara Timur. It is another paradise in Indonesia.
- I undergone a surgery. I can suggest you to do not take tonsillectomy because you need this organ for your immune system. I might have taken wrong decision and I combat for my health everyday now.
- I was heart broken. The wound was so deep, so was the love. Yes, it was a worth-living life. It was such a valuable lesson in relationship.
- I had to start over again. After separation from my partner, I had to live my life in a different situation. It wasn’t easy but i survive. New place. New friends. New job. Everything that is totally split away from my past.
- I found deeper gratitude and meaningful lesson in life. Knowing that someone who loves you can decide something that will change your life forever whether it is good or bad. Knowing that you have that power to survive and come back to life. Knowing that this universe is very good that in that dark time, I met many good strangers who opened their arms to help me. Knowing that the love of my mother will never run out, she is there and still love me whatever sin I confessed to her.
- I published my second book “Terbuang dari Eden”.
What will be happening in my life this year?
It is a mystery. It is an enigma.
I will just do my best. Yet I have goals for finding a better job, for creating a business, for creating a way to own a garden (oh, organic one!). I will keep writing as well.
This list should be priority in this year:
- Work smart, earn more.
- Reduce the usage of social media. Use it for business and learn.
- Eat healthy food. Less meat. Drink jamu (Indonesia herbal drink) and water everyday.
- Do sport. I know a decent place for gym in Ubud.
- Saving money for travel and future goals.
- Write the next book in English.
- Write poetry and short story for national media.
- Keep being a loving person and do the best every single day.
First and foremost, I forgive what I have done wrong in the past, be peace with it and keep catching the light, so in this birthday I will just take baggages of happiness to a present moment and leave the rest behind as a lesson in my life, as fuel for the next journey.
Do you wish something for me?
Thank you.
I removed my old writings on medium by choice. If you want to present a birthday gift for me and support me to keep write here, please click the 👏 button. I also write on my new born website, facebook page and instagram, feel free to visit me there.
