Banter Is Not Flirting
In our constant defense against the potentially offensive, we’ve confused banter, playfulness and flirting.
They can appear similar to the casual observer, but banter and playfulness are actually screening tests. Flirting, on the other hand, lays the groundwork for romantic endeavors.
Here’s how:
Banter is the verbal equivalent of a secret handshake- it pings and asks “Do you get me? Are we in the same club?” It’s wordplay, verbal jousting. If you know how to banter, you understand that the world is sharply divided into two camps: People who can banter and everyone else.
And “everyone else” tends to be boring. Your speech with them isn’t fluid, it requires constant self-scrutiny because nothing can be left to interpretation. Double entendre will be lost on them; you’ll be waiting for a linguistic sleight of hand in reply and they’ll stare at you like you’re holding up a moon rock.
And you will feel alone.
But if someone can banter, they’ll be right there with you; volleying until one of you runs out of synonyms, puns or obscure references. And, in that, you get a titer of exactly where the other person is.
