Greasy Cheetos glob burning. Do not try this at home.

The Omniscient Orange Tries to Control

GrampyDiddly
Jul 27, 2017 · 2 min read

I couldn’t resist adding a comment. I really need to be doing stuff to resolve my stuff with other stuff, but decided I need a break (obviously).

I recently purchased a large bag of Cheetos to create unique Trumpster projects and photographs with. It didn’t take long to realize it will possibly take 2 or 3 cases and dealing with the greasy orange residue they leave behind. (Hmm, a possible analogy!) You may be asking why I need so many Cheetos for a project? No, I am not using Cheetos to build a model White House from, although orange would be an appropriate color.

The problem I was confronted with is threefold. First, moments of anxiety caused me to eat them by the handful (I don’t even like them). This is reflective of a growing concern. After the 2016 election, “binging on disliked foods/snacks increased exponentially” a study in “Psychology Extremes Today” revealed, “This politically motivated phenomena altered the harmless binging on comfort food for stress relief to a dangerous behavior at the self destructive level.” I fear for many Americans who are unaware of this condition and its severity.

Secondly, a destructive mood sets in. I mindlessly started breaking, smashing and destroying Cheetos. I pulverized 30 of them using a large rubber hammer in a matter of minutes. It was a mess, but had a calming therapeutic effect.

The third and final issue was a question. Would the calming effect be more effective on larger scale? With the help of the local fire department, the Cheetos bag was placed in a grease fire burn pit and set ablaze as a training exercise. The preservatives and additives added a nice color to the fire, but other than taking an hour for all the grease to burn out of the Cheetos, it didn’t provide any additional stress relief.

So, I concluded, in order to complete a project, I will need more Cheetos than I had expected. I will focus on pulverizing them with my rubber hammer to reduce the quantity needed.

One last question. How do you remove the greasy orange residue “they” leave behind?

GrampyDiddly

Written by

AKA: DiddlySquat. I tell stories. They may be fun or deal with complex computer ethics. "Just Below the Surface" describes how I write.

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