Talking, Listening, and Meeting
Meetings suck, right? I mean, sitting in that room, while Bob (•) drones on and on and on, and you wish you were somewhere else, anywhere else, maybe even judging the Fingernails On Chalkboard contest, and it’s been 30 minutes and Bob is still going…
It doesn’t have to be this way. More to the point, if you have any agency, you can make sure that it isn’t this way.
Everyone Talks
Look around the table, and pay attention to the distribution of the conversation. Check out who hogs the spotlight (Bob!), who rarely talks, and who has checked out. The key point here is that you want everybody to have a voice, to participate, to be part of the team. Give the quiet ones a voice, and make sure that the inveterate talkers, well, don’t (if necessary, have a word with them before the meeting).
Your aim in all of this is to enable a free flow, to have everyone participate, be involved, participate in the give-and-take of conversation.
Everyone Listens
You know the fun moment during the Q&A after a conference talk? Where some random dude (probably Bob) grabs the mike, and instead of asking a question, proceeds to talk and talk and talk? Don’t be that person, and more importantly, don’t allow that to happen. Effective listening involves, well, actually listening. It’s a skill, and requires that people actually pay attention to what is being said (I know. Trite. But true).
Your aim here is to (gently!) intercept when this happens, and guide the conversation. Whats more, pay attention to people’s body language — you can tell when people aren’t listening (glazed eyes, flushed face or ears, fiddling with their phone…), and involve them before it’s too late.
It’s The Team
The thing is, this is work, and hard work at that. You have to be “on” during the entire meeting, actively scanning, actively processing, while, at the same time, trying to actually accomplish the meetings goals!
That said, it’s not just you, it’s your entire team. As time goes on, and as you inculcate these behaviors in the team, make sure that everybody understands why you are doing this. The key is to get everybody participating in the process. Why, you might even have that one breakthrough day, even Bob will cut himself short!
(•) It’s always Bob droning on. #TechBros are the worst.
