Everything is my fault

Dietrich Corthouts
Sep 6, 2018 · 2 min read

And I do my very best to prove it.

Did you know that?
That our youngest psyche creates that conviction?

“If bad stuff happens to me, it must be my own fault”

As adults, we cope with this in two different ways:

Either we blame others, or we blame ourselves.

The one being more aggressive, the other turning depressive.

Yesterday it happened to me again.

A situation. I saw me doing it. I was there. I could not stop myself.

Blame. Blame. Blame.

What a stupid fuckup.
You know this. YOU KNOW!!

But that is not the whole story.

Because, by now, I also know, I just am who I am.
And I do what I do.
And usually with the best intentions,
because I am pretty capable of stopping myself
projecting negativity to an outside world.

I don’t hurt anyone intentionally.
I don’t do stupid things intentionally.

And still. Every now and then, I see my body executing something
that I know is not a good idea.
And still I do it.

What to do then?
Blame?

It is inevitable that harsh voice shows up.
It has good intentions even.
It wants to prevent future hurt.

The only answer is love.

Loving the one who does the stupid stuff.
Loving the one who blames in order to protect.

Loving yourself, all the way through.

Our dear Celine came to mind yesterday:

“Nothing you confess
can make me
love you less”

I have a few additions to that:

“Nothing you say
can make me
go away”

“Nothing you do
can make me
give up on you”

A tune to remember,
when ‘you do it again’ ;-)

Love x