Last year I speculated that even numbered years were better than odd numbered years. I’m wrong a lot. Boy did I really start of 2014 with a doozie though.
January
You probably don’t remember this, but it was brutally cold last January. Causing a whole slew of Global Warming jokes by people who cannot understand that it’s a big ole sphere, and ‘global’ implies the whole thing, not just the 15 miles of I-65 they drive up and down.
Quite possibly the only resolution I’ve ever actually stuck with kicked off with a bang. “Read 24 books in 2014”, I read 7 in January alone. Greatly aided by having the first week of the year off.
“Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don’t. ” — Pete Seeger
February
Jimmy Fallon ends his run on Late Night by playing “The Weight” with The Muppets. One of my favorite all time songs, with the friggin’ Muppets? Yeah, I get it Jimmy. I’ll watch your new damn show. Even though it should still be Conan’s.
I went and painted a picture with my wife at one of those “we’ll charge you $30 each for $2 worth of paint, $1 worth of canvas and you can be creative! Wine costs extra.” places. We had a lovely time. Oh yeah, we also went to see the Lego Movie in theatres. Love is Awesome.
My grandpa Pat died. This year my paternal Grandmother will bury her husband, her step-son and her father. Perspective can be painfully acquired.
“Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s sample, it would be a Twinkie… thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.” — Dr. Egon Spengler (Played by Harold Ramis, who also wrote more than half the things you laughed at in the 80s)
March
COSMOS! Seth MacFarlane (yeah, that guy) and Neil Degrasse Tyson team up to remake the show that taught me how to see the universe is infinite in all directions. I celebrate most episodes by eating a piece of apple pie and harassing people on social media to watch it along with me.
The month ended with the 50th anniversary of the week that The Beatles had the #1 through #5 chart topping songs at the same time.
It took forever, but I finally finished Saint-Exupery: A Biography by Stacy Shiff. I then immediately read The Little Prince for the first time with a new appreciation for The French, early aviation and artistic people who do everything on their own.
My brother-in-law died, leaving 2 kids behind. Really good kids who surprise me every time I see them (which isn’t often enough)
We hunger for significance. — Cosmos.
April
My dog’s walking is notably impaired. It turns out he’s injured his ACL, then completely tears it chasing a squirrel. We forego a couple thousand dollar surgery for a few hundred dollars of some weird quackery sounding “Deep Tissue Laser Therapy” and baby gates. It appears to work. (So maybe it wasn’t ‘completely’ torn)
Schmoopy and I take a road trip to St Meinrad and Jasper, IN to avoid Thunder over Louisville. Turns into a lovely day.
Got an ‘award’ at work, of a bobble head of my boss. Needless to say, I work less hard now.
“Trust doesn’t mean that you trust that someone won’t screw up — it means you trust them even when they do screw up.” — Ed Catmull in Creativity, Inc.
May
Nasa turned on a High Def camera mounted to the side of the International Space Station. So now you can see a picture of Earth in real time. From space. It’s a start.
Road trip up to the Cincinnati Zoo and Hofbrauhaus. Baby giraffes make Michelle make pretty ridiculous noises.
Mother’s Day and my Dad’s 60th fall on the same weekend.
“Good done anywhere is good done everywhere. For a change, start by speaking to people rather than walking by them like they’re stones that don’t matter. As long as you’re breathing, it’s never too late to do some good.” — Maya Angelou
June
I go to San Jose for a conference, then spend a day in SF and pick up a limited edition print of Horton Hears a Who from a Dr Seuss gallery. When I give it to Michelle on her birthday, she almost forgives me for taking a trip without her.
We went to see The Book of Mormon. I felt like I needed to go to confession afterwards, and I’m not even Catholic.
June 17th, 2014 : “Walked into a spiderweb on the way to the car. 10 minutes into commute the spider crawled across the inside of my sunglasses”
Facebook admits they tinker with what kinds of things show up on your feed. People are furious that a service they don’t pay for spends time and money trying to figure out a way to get more money from the customers that do pay them.
Hit 100,000 miles on my Honda Accord.
“Remember these two things: play hard and have fun.” — Tony Gwynn
July
My great grandfather, Pops, dies. He was 96 years old. I can’t do his memory service in a single paragraph. He provided, he laughed, he loved. He lived long enough to see a Great-Great-Great grandson. We should all have a life that well lived.
Michelle and I see all 3 Shakespeare in the Park productions. Midsummer Night’s Dream, Henry V and Hamlet, outdoors, by trained professionals. This Kentucky Shakespeare group really does an amazing job, and I cannot recommend making time to go see them in 2015 enough.
Purchased a couple of airline tickets that I wouldn’t be able to use until October.. lah-dee-dah.
“Doug Churchman! your Wu-Name is Inscrutable Drama Queen” — www.recordstore.com/wuname/
August
Guardians of the Galaxy was more fun than anyone expected, and the soundtrack reopened 70s rock shaped holes in our hearts.
McQuixote Books and Coffee opens in Portland. The owners are huge Don Quixote fans, and they make really really good coffee. I really want this place to succeed for a long time.
The ALS Ice Bucket challenge takes the world by storm, raising a ridiculous amount of money and generally being a good thing for everyone. Even snarky jackholes on the Internet who have an opinion about absolutely everything other people do with their time and money.
Mom made me go to The Outlet Shoppes for her birthday. I went, because I’m a good kid.
“Good people end up in Hell because they can’t forgive themselves.”” — Robin Williams
September
Michelle gets a new car. Then drives it several hundred miles away from me. She came back a few days later.
Waterfront Wednesday, Lake Street Dive. They’re real good. We bought some CDs. And I threw my wedding ring into either the Ohio River or a trash bin. By mistake. A couple hours after making a joke about how it’s just a silly symbol and not having it wouldn’t change my love for The Schmoop. The timing and circumstances, but not irony, don’t make it more funny. I’ve gotten a replacement that weighs way more, as penance for my carelessness and ill humor.
ReSurfaced is super cool too. Someone’s converted some unused space into a food-truck/event space for a few weeks. I’m kind of hoping they do it again next year.
“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.” — Joan Rivers
October
Pulled a plane to raise money for Special Olympics.
Saw a Beatle live.
Got a passport stamp to some Carribbean paradisea.
Saw the Milky Way for the first time I can remember.
No big whoop.
“Don’t let them change ya, or even rearrange ya’” — Bob Marley
November
I’d just like everyone to remember that 55–45 results means almost half of everyone who could be bothered to vote still disagrees with you. You still have to live next to them. The world is not Us vs. Them, it’s not Red and Blue. I said it when the purple was tinted blue, and I’ll remind everyone when the purple gets tinted red.
Cardinal Stadium, at the Kentucky State Fairgrounds, is being torn down. The location of my very first job. My favorite memory is being stuck behind a horde of unmoving people during a very crowded game. When I sighed with my tray full of drinks, unable to get to the crowd some woman turned to me and snarled, “Patience is a virtue.” I responded, “Not when you make commission, would you like to buy a Pepsi?”
We landed on a comet! (We being the European Space Agency, but once you leave the orbit of earth, I think nationality matters a lot less than planet of origin.) Seriously, we stuck a robot on a comet, a mission that started 15 years prior. Humans are capable of a lot more than just outrage and memes.
Bone Spur! Actually, it turns out to be Plantar Fasciitis. And the dog is suddenly taken from an average of 3 walks to a day to 0.5.
“Bah-a-la-la-la” — Baymax
December
Michelle got us tickets to see Dave Chappelle for Jesus’ birthday. It was funny. That dude knows how to make people laugh.
Christmas is nice. The last few years aren’t nearly as busy as what I grew up with. I enjoy gift giving, a ridiculous amount. Far more than I seem to care about financial responsibility.
I looked back at what I wrote about 2013, and the prior few years, and discovered at a tiny little text file I saved on 12–31–2013. I was pleasantly surprised to see that I’d achieved 7 of my 8 goals for 2014. Got my wife to a beach, read more than 2 books a month, made big progress financially, took a few photos I geniunely like. Didn’t lose any weight. I can diet NEXT year.
“You checked our shitters, honey?” — Clark Griswold
2014 Recommendations
- 1491 by Charles Mann
- Kindred by Octavia Butler
- The “Jamaican Gold” drink at Couples San Souci resort in Ocho Rios, Jamaica.
- Engineer Prints from photojojo.com
