Yeah this is what happens when you talk to everyone but gold star lesbians about our sexuality, you come away with the idea that women who have never slept with men are the root of all evil. As a gold star lesbian I can pick out some obvious flaws in this classic narrative against us (though I doubt anything I say will be believed because, like I said, I’m apparently the dark side of the queer community so I’m probably lying amirite?)
- The term gold star lesbian is not a self-congratulatory title. Rather it was created by the wider queer community to denigrate women who had not slept with men and later reclaimed by us. (i.e. ‘oh you’ve never slept with men, what do you want a gold star?’ ‘Why yes, actually!’)
- Gold star lesbians do not believe we are more ‘pure’ than anyone else because guess what (please excuse my sarcasm) WOMEN ALSO FUCK. Holy shit, amazing right? It’s almost like heterosexual sex and homosexual sex are equally as dirty or something. So maybe get your heteronormative concepts of virginity away from my lesbianism, thx.
- Rape is not sex. You can be a rape survivor and still be a gold star lesbian. Is your mind blown yet??
- I’m not the one saying sex with a dick automatically makes you not a gold star lesbian. That’s you. That’s you saying that. You and every other anti-gold star queer out there. Do not project your transphobia onto me.
Like I get a lot (a lot!) of women out there need to experiment to find themselves and their sexualities and whatnot, but also some women don’t and both of these things are totally fine! Some women don’t have the privilege to find themselves by dating boys or trying out a marriage. Some women have disabilities or religion or just a very controlling family. Some women might just know from the start that they’re a lesbian, the idea of sex with a man so inherently repulsive as to overcome compulsory heterosexuality. And that is completely fine! What is not fine is to tear women down based solely on the fact that they’ve never slept with a man and to justify it based on twisted, misogynistic “reason’s”. Tearing down women because they haven’t slept with a man in a society where a woman’s worth is based solely on her availability to men is not progressive, it is heteronormative. In the future before writing articles on gold star lesbians at least endeavour to talk to one of us. Though I am rather wistful about the difference it would make, part of me thinks you’re lost to the roar of queer groupthink.
