Why I Hang Out with Difficult People (including myself)
Instead of avoiding them, I hang out with difficult people because it keeps me humble.
I remember being a difficult person. I still am one.
And by difficult, I mean not awake. People who act from compulsion and habit to cover or hide from fear.
Fear of failure. Fear of intimacy. Fear of rejection. Fear of vulnerability.
We all get to choose: love or fear.
Love is extremely difficult but so much more rewarding. Love says, “I am so imperfect and here it is on display — do with it what you will.”
And having come from many experiences of doing this and being hurt, it took a toll on me. And I eventually became that difficult person, hurting others left and right as I tried to protect myself.
And it didn’t work. It didn’t work to make my life feel more safe and secure. It didn’t work to help me feel less afraid.
So, now when I interact with difficult people, all I see is their fear. Behaviors like judging, reacting, blaming, avoiding, hiding, controlling, dominating — — all attempts to feel less fear. And they only end up creating more of the same. And I have total compassion for it because I know my own fear.
Instead of avoiding difficult people, I seek them out. Avoiding them means I avoid myself and my own fear. Embracing them means I embrace me.
Be kind to difficult people. They need it the most.