Dec 25, 2020Grief, gratitude and green.First I said 2015. Then I stopped and counted again. “2013. I’ve been alone on Christmas since 2013.” That’s a lot of holidays to spend in solitude. So many mornings to wake up with nothing under a tree, or even having a tree for that matter, for you from someone else. …Christmas5 min readChristmas5 min read
May 5, 2020Being ok with being ok.I couldn’t leave my cozy bed this morning. I was enjoying the crisp air and just-right temperature of the sun beaming through the blinds too much. But I did get up, put on some pants which fit me differently by the day — aging is an adventure — had a…Mindfulness4 min readMindfulness4 min read
Mar 27, 2020How to be alone.What we see in solitude. It came on slowly. I didn’t choose solitude consciously. The weeks became months and then years of running from the painful reality of my own company. Pain? What pain? It felt like fun, at first. All that distraction of people, places and things. Feeling caught…Solitude7 min readSolitude7 min read
Jun 5, 2019Radical self-acceptance at the 41-year mark.It’s my birthday today. I’m 41 years old. To celebrate, I decided to draft a long-form post like I did many years ago, before I stopped writing. Why I stopped writing was an important part of my process that brought me to the point where I am resuming it today…Life Lessons15 min readLife Lessons15 min read
May 23, 2019The hard is what makes it so great.if you told me ten years ago that this would be my life I probably would have said, “sure! sounds great!” But I do wish, to be honest, I could have bypassed the really painful years when I felt lost and despair beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Feeling…Personal Development3 min readPersonal Development3 min read
May 12, 2019So many ways to be “mother”.Holding your ground to help her grow even when your heart is breaking. Conceiving and carrying for other people to care for. Feeling more furious than afraid when asked where your child’s father is. Wanting his magnificent heart to matter more than his melanin. Finding more patience where you never…Moms2 min readMoms2 min read
May 8, 2019Dating while demi.Dating is hard enough, but doing it as a demisexual transperson is… Truthfully, I’m not sure if I’m truly demisexual or just so content with my own company and independence that I’ve evolved beyond the desire to date. Or if I’ve seen enough to know dating is just not for…Identity22 min readIdentity22 min read
Feb 14, 2019Be yours. Self-love is everlasting.In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I got the idea to paint a candy heart with the words “Be Yours.” Because at the ripe old age of whatever I am now, I know I don’t want to be someone else’s, really, until I truly want to be my own. And…Life Lessons5 min readLife Lessons5 min read
Jan 7, 2019Toilet paper taught me integrity.I can’t go into a bathroom now without feeling the impulse to replace the roll if it’s used up.Humor5 min readHumor5 min read
Dec 20, 2018What to say when asked why you’re single.Well, here we are. It’s that time of year when you’re attending parties and stuff and people like to be curious (read: rude) and ask about your relationship status, assuming and asserting in their question that you’re doing something WRONG if you’re still single. Meanwhile they walk into the next…Relationships5 min readRelationships5 min read