I dropped out of college to start up my first company. This was my ultimate goal and my dream. When I was younger, I could imagine exactly what my life would be like and it was all coming together. I started making more money than I ever had, but not compared to any high level executive salary. My company was small, niche and growing.
After my first year, I had to sell my company. The market was simply diving and I wouldn’t be making any profit. A larger company offered to buy me out for what it was worth. All in all, it wasn’t much.
After that quick sell I decided I needed to go into something tech related. Tech startups were on the rise and Apps were all the rage. My goal for the year was to launch my first app and crowd-fund the whole thing. I didn’t have much money left over from my previous year and no idea how to code. Instead of learning, I outsourced the whole project and crowd-funded its production.
The app idea was amazing (in my opinion) and would help small lawn care companies manage and grow their businesses. At the end of the successful funding campaign, I was left with 42% equity in the project. I never thought this would kick me in the ass. I was wrong.
Eventually Apple updated and our app was crashing. With only $500 in profit from our incredibly small launch, I reached out to the developer (who also had equity) to help fix the issues. He quickly told me no, but how he could find the time if I paid him another few thousand dollars. Because the company who I crowdfunded the project through hosted the source code on their developer account, I was left with no other options.
The project was scrapped and it was time for me to move on. Just one problem though. Wtf was I going to do next?!
Through my small success and failures in the previous year or so, I was incredibly happy, confident and proud. I felt on top of the world. Although not wealthy or rich, I felt so in my own mind. I made just enough to not have to worry about money. If I wanted something, I got it for myself.
At this point, my life took a rather depressing turn. I no longer could see where my life was going and had no direction. I felt lost and delved into a depressive mental state. I began pushing those close to me away because I no longer felt proud and confident. I could no longer be someone my friends and loved ones could be proud to speak of or know. I felt….. useless. A complete failure.
As time went on, so did my darkness and wondering nature. My focus was non-existent. I had plenty of ideas for companies or simple ways to make money. What I couldn’t seem to do was pick one to move forward with. With too many decisions and too much information to be able to create a vision, I was stuck.
I contemplated leaving. Starting my life over somewhere else (now this sounds ridiculous). Perhaps putting everything I owned into my backpack and just wondering throughout this world. Maybe world travel would open my eyes and help me figure this whole living thing out.
I couldn’t bring myself to leave. Once my rational self came back to the rescue, I realized that facing my fears, failures and emotional turmoil would be the only positive outcome. Perhaps my youth was to blame for my initial reaction. Luckily the man I hope to turn out to be, b*tch slapped me back to reality.
Through time I was able to learn and develop more skills that will inevitably lend to my success. I have a new startup company and a dream. I am starting to see my vision finally mold in my head. Times are still tough right now and very unknown, but seeing what the end result may be will keep you going and pushing through these times.
Your vision in life is everything. It is the driving force that helps you get out of bed each morning. It keeps you from binge watching shows on Popcorn Time and wasting your money in bars. If you lack a vision or dream, it should be your main goal to focus on building one. Without it, you may very well be just as lost as I was.
I’m still developing my vision and dream for what I want this world to be, but it seems to look brighter each week.