Possessive vs Caring

“I know from personal experience how fear and low self worth can cripple one’s ability to succeed in life. But with a little support, caring and inspiration, miracles can happen. “

It is true caring is an amazing thing. When somebody cares about someone else, miracles can happen for both of them. I have realized that many times through the last 3 years from both sides, during my experiences in AIESEC and I am very proud to have met so many people that cared so much.

“I’m not possessive, I’m caring… Once you realize a person doesn’t want that much care, you automatically back off. “

But lately, I started seeing that caring is not that innocent. Caring is not always that pure as we think. When somebody helps because he actually cares about you or because he wants to take the wheel and drive for you?

I felt it a lot through these endless and powerful talks with my parents about my future. I have been always respecting their opinion, being both, my role models in life. However, there is a point when your life is taking a turn and you see that your life and theirs is not the same any more. It is a different time, a different path and a different goal you are looking for. But, still, they will be there to give you advice as any caring parent would do. But where is the limit? Are that emotional constant stress, that restrictions in following your dream considered caring? Where does that caring becomes owning and that owning becomes possession?

And that only started with my parents. I then saw that again in my workplace where a friend, out of care, took decisions for me without me that “was better for me” without even asking or taking in consideration what I wanted. How did she dare? That decisions was important for me and I wanted to be part of them. Is the argument of caring still valid? Is the intentions that innocent any more? Or she just appointed herself a self-righteous navigator at my own experiences?

Don’t take me wrong. Caring is beautiful. But when it is just only about caring for someone's better and not owning. That’s a thin line, where our need to make things better for those we care meets our endless will to control the lives of others.

“Caring for but never trying to own may be a further way to define friendship.”