“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” ~Honore de Balzac
I stood there not knowing what to say or how to react. Then I heard myself asking, ‘Why are you saying you’re never going to be good enough?’
We do this to ourselves. As entrepreneurs or not, every day we go through hurdles where our self-doubt is either at its best or worst. At its worst — it’s greedy and rude. It devours your confidence, strips logic and reason from your mind, and steals happiness from your heart. In return, it leaves you with only fear and insecurity. At some times, I felt paralysed from making decisions as big as company structure to the formatting of an email.
Some people think they’re awesome. They even outwardly share the sentiment. From a young age, parents coo to them how special they are. Others have battled with feeling the opposite for most of their lives. Couple this with an energetic drive and you have a delicate tension to balance.
The thing about entrepreneurship is that you’re forever operating outside a box — or known boundaries. Writing things down usually helps me reflect on things quicker. The moment I doubted my own self, I wrote it and realised I had to do something about it. Unfortunately, the more you fight your self-doubt, the more it fights back. However, with self-knowledge and understanding, you can use self-doubt for your benefit.
“My objective? To re-frame my self-doubt.” ~Dimple Lalwani
1. Recall your wins and write them down
As entrepreneurs, after any win, big or small, we immediately think of the next thing we need to do/achieve for a bigger and bolder victory. You’re obsessed and so am I. It’s normal but how about we become more self-aware and realise how this might impact us in the long run? I think about it as a Founder — how will this impact my team’s motivation?
Every time I used to apply for an internship or a job, I used to make a list of all of my successes, big or small. I used to force myself to fill an entire A4 paper. When I founded my business, I stopped. I now realise, we always need it with us, either you remember it or you carry it with you.
If you don’t know what to write, ask someone you trust and ask them to tell you the great things they think you’ve done. It’s refreshing and a great confidence boost!
2. Keep away from toxic people
Throughout your life, you meet people. With some people, you automatically bond and feel that you’ve already shared a million similar experiences. With others, it’s different. There are always people who will tell you ‘No’ or ‘You can’t’.
As an entrepreneur, I’ve got that quite a bit over the past couple of years. Okay — not exactly. You can tell the way people speak to you, not everyone says these things straight to your face. I often divide people into two groups — your ‘critics’ and your ‘cheerleaders’. Critics may be good for you as they challenge you along the way but remember to take it as a challenge and not let it affect your self-doubt.
3. Give yourself permission to try… and try again
“Self-doubt never disappears. Over time, you just get better at dealing with it. It will greet you every time you fall out of your comfort zone and whenever you strive to do something great. But know that it’s not something you have to fear or resent. Your doubts are only thoughts, not your future.
Sure, something may go wrong. But if you never try, you’re losing an opportunity to improve your life.
Are you willing to risk that instead?”
- Melissa Ng
Like many investors prefer to invest in second-time entrepreneurs, sometimes it’s necessary to fail in your first objective and then try again. You’ve learnt, you won’t make the same mistakes and hopefully the timing will be better.
“Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have.”
One last thought is, be kind to yourself. Take care of your inner child.
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