Flipped Backwards

My husband went into his “man-store,” Home Depot, and I wanted to stay outside in the car with our two yellow Labradors. Going into Home Depot is like having a root canal for me. Today, this would this prove to be a grievous error. As I sat there, I felt sorry for our patient doggies, and thought I should put their harnesses on and take them for a walk so they could relish in the sun and perhaps take an R&R break.

I had heels on and a fairly short skirt. Something I don’t wear often. I climbed into the back seat of the car and snapped both dogs into their gear, thinking that this favor would make me “pet owner of the year.”

I began to back out of the rear seat, with both leashes in hand. The door latch made it’s familiar “pop”, and as the door cracked a feeble one inch opening, my 100 pound Labrador bolted.

I had no idea he would do that as my entire body and person was in the way. I screamed as the leash wrapped around one of my legs, and I went sailing through the air! End over end. It was a complete somersault in mid-friggin’-air. The “full monty” so to speak.

No, I did not look anything like the picture below.

I looked more like something that took an awkward back dive towards concrete.


This picture was more my speed:

Of course, I was wearing the heels and “shorter” black suede skirt, but the panic on my face was met by sheer exasperation as my left shoulder hit the pavement square, and elbow took home several pieces of asphalt embedded into it like pepper meets a steak.

As I sit here, in excruciating pain with a throbbing left shoulder and back, I wonder if our dogs feel any type of remorse.

Well, here they are:

I’d say, “not.”

So, my sore and traumatized frame has learned its lesson.

And for that, I simply had to post the photo below.

I’m certain that tomorrow, after taking such a dive, I will feel like a dog’s arse, and maybe even worse.

So say “cheese!”

Heat packs and Tylenol, I owe you.