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I have spoken with President Trump regarding the effects of CO2 on climate change and the possible effects of climate change on the planet. The President had the following to say:

DJT: As you know, I am very smart. Very, very smart. I know more about the climate than…than even the scientists. I have to know this because the climate affects my business. For example, people just don’t play much golf when the temperature drops below 28 degrees or goes above 98 degrees. Also, tornadoes and hurricanes cause a serious drop in attendance at my courses.

DS: Surely you understand that as CO2 levels in the atmosphere increase, more heat is retained in the atmosphere and this will cause serious problems for us.

DJT: No, no the so-called scientists are just trying to scare us so they get more funding. We don’t have anything to be afraid of. Well, some things. Muslims, Mexicans, those “urban people” except Ben Carson. Jews, except Jarod and Ivanka. You know Ivanka isn’t a real Jew, don’t you? I mean, she wasn’t born that way. And a lot of other people with dark skin and funny names. Oh, and anybody with an accent. An accent is just not American.

DS: But, politics aside, every country has been recording temperatures world-wide and, clearly, temperatures have been rising for quite a while and the rate of increase is accelerating.

DJT: Listen to me. These same scientists tell us that Earth’s surface was once completely molten. They don’t know that. They weren’t there, there’s no pictures; it’s all fake news. But if that’s true, and I’m just saying “if” that’s true we survived that and we’ll survive this. And you can believe me.
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