An Interview with Lisa Joyner on Adoption, Family, and Empathy
Heather Mason

I hear this all the time: "Adoption is a choice", "It's my personal decision", "It's my personal choice (how and whether to adopt)".

Well, for the potential adoptee, it's not a choice. It's not a choice to get uprooted from one's roots. It's not a choice to have your own history erased, rewritten, and sealed from oneself. It's not a choice to have your DOB altered. It's not a choice to have your access to your own truthful history, identity, and birth information/story forever denied. For an adoptee, it wasn't a choice to become "desperate" for information, as Lisa described the people who come on her show searching.

Let me ask Lisa, was it her choice to become adopted? I doubt it. Many adoptees who also want basic truthful information about themselves don't want to put their private stories and lives on display for exhibition. Empathy would be allowing adult adoptees to have the same access to their own information/facts/records WITHOUT making them be "desperate" enough to put themselves and their raw, unexamined emotions on display to millions of viewers (while entertainment companies profit and viewers get their emotional porn fix satisfied). Empathy would be allowing adult adoptees to maintain their own dignity as THEY feel fit, just as never-adopted adults can access their OWN truth WITHOUT exposing themselves to millions of strangers.

The choice Lisa had, was as an adopter, not as an adoptee. The infant they adopted had NO choice in becoming legally severed from her own family/roots/truth/ancestry. She may or may not come to forgive Lisa and her other family's actions.