Feeling to connect (with yourself!)
I always wondered what was going on with me. And at the same time making sure I was sane (according to what society believes).
I did not know what I wanted to do, what was my passion, had nothing that will grab my attention that I wanted to experience, focus, keep learning. I kept bouncing on opinions of others, following them. And at the same time trying to find mine.

It did not change much until now. The difference is probably that these days I am much more aware of it. The reasons why it happens. Why I have no boundaries, taste, objectives, structure and so on.
I recently discovered I am an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and that I was my entire life trying to please others, feeling them, check their mood, satisfying them. Never thinking about what I may need for myself.
“We are forced to make choices and set priorities, but being very conscientious, HSPs often put themselves last. Or at least we give ourselves no more time off or opportunity to learn new skills than anyone else. In fact, however, we need more.” ― Elaine N. Aron
Today I try to feel. By that I mean feel what I feel, not what others feel. Go within, be present in my body, watch the changes in my heartbeat, emotions, and write them down.
I believe today that what I feel is the need to connect. It was always a connection with others, now with myself. I can say that is a tough process and it takes loads of energy from you. However going in your subconscious and learn about yourself is going to help me connecting better with others.
I just want to share with you what is going on. It may not be well written (it is my first draft over here), it may not be interesting for you, or make no sense. In a different perspective, it may help you to connect within, question yourself, or identify a pattern in you.
To be honest, I care enough towards others.
PS: I wonder what to do you feel when you read this. Not what you feel or think towards me, but what you feel inside yourself.