#4: LL Cool J — Radio (1985)
New York, NY — Def Jam
Radio! We’re quickly moving on from the disco-adjacent old school of the late 70’s/early 80’s (because I want to listen to different stuff now) into the exciting new styles of the so-called Golden Era, which spanned from the mid 80’s to mid 90’s. Genius tells me this was the first full album release on legendary label Def Jam and that it sold half a million copies in the first five months, which gets even more impressive when you remember that J was only 17 when he made this.
Cover art just screams classic mid 80’s big boombox hip-hop, Radio Raheem from Do The Right Thing vibes, which is immediately confirmed by the first track, starting with its name: I Can’t Live Without My Radio. Beat is immediately more minimalistic but also intense, aggressive, with a fast double-timed hi-hat line, eardrum-rupturing snare and a kick drum pattern that’s way more dynamic than the basic four-on-the-floor disco stuff we’ve been seeing so far. Apart from the drums there’s not a lot more to this beat than a very quick and sparse trumpet (?) sample, which is ironic considering that throughout the lyrics he’s going on and on about how his radio is so banging and has such an intense bass; yet I am still to hear a single bassline in this. He must be talking about the kick drum, I guess?
The rapping style here is notably different as well. His delivery and intonation is way more aggressive, and both his flow and writing, even if somewhat basic by my contemporary standards, are significantly more intricate and flexible than, say, Melle Mel’s or Kurtis Blow’s — he weaves his way around varying amounts of syllables and words within a bar with ease, and it seldom ever sounds rushed or unfitting. Especially noteworthy is this part in the middle of the last verse where he brings in Cut Creator, his DJ and producer, for a quick little scratch intermission. The theme is not too deep — he mostly raps about how much his boombox destroys, how loud and banging it is, how he likes to lug it around and how he’s just an overall amazing human being — but it’s a very fitting intro to such an album.
Next track, You Can’t Dance, is just as aggressive, if not more, and that applies to the lyrical theme too. He opens it with this charming little spoken word-ish pre-verse that goes like: “Hey man, I’ve seen ya, think ya rockin’ it on the floor/ You look like a moron! Who let you in the door?/ To put the question bluntly: maybe your feet’s deformed/ They should slap you in the face when you put your dancing shoes on”. Lmao come on dude, that’s just mean.
As you can guess, that’s this song’s gist: mercilessly ragging on a nondescript guy for being a lousy dancer. The instrumental is somewhat more complex and interesting, with a variety of samples that fade in and out on top of the drums. Something that also drew my attention is how this song, like its predecessor, completely lacks choruses and hooks whatsoever, being composed of fast back-to-back verses all the way through. Next song, Dear Yvette, breaks this tendency by having a quick little chorus, though on the other hand it firmly maintains You Can’t Dance’s trend of being incredibly toxic and mean. Again, it riffs on a basic schtick all throughout, and in this case it’s about shaming poor titular Yvette, under the excuse of advice, for being a slut. It perfectly nails that condescending sexist “this here is what’s better for you honey” tone which I’m sure you’ve all heard before; no doubt because LL Cool J is a condescending sexist jerk himself, let’s be honest.
Track number four, I Can Give You More, is a pretty intriguing follow-up to this unabashed hoe shaming. It’s this sort of ballad over a beat with some strangely spooky piano and bass stabs where J, speaking to a nondescript woman, professes his fascination for her — complete with the old “I’ve never met someone like you, I’ve never felt like this before” bit — and tries to convince her to leave her man and elope with him. Bit of a hypocrite there, homie? Especially noteworthy is this section more towards the end: “You’re the goddess of light, the queen of seduction/ You won’t get used if you follow my instructions/ Just grab my hand, feel the sweat on my palm/ Make love to a man and not a cheap Don Juan”. Lol come on man, this is just ridiculous. Unless this is actually a parody and I haven’t noticed, but I highly doubt that — remember, LL Cool J stands for “Ladies Love Cool James” lol.
Next up: Dangerous. This is an example of a thing that was apparently common in the 80’s, where the MC would sometimes take a break from talking about his own greatness for one hour straight and dedicate a couple of minutes to talk about how great his DJ is instead (not that J doesn’t brag about himself on this a couple of times, of course). Beat on this one is fairly complex compared to the others, including a good bit of sounds seemingly from cartoons and such, and the rapping is surprisingly good as well — some pretty great bars in here, such as “He circumcises DJs while he’s on the airwaves/ ’Till the mission’s complete, you’re a musical slave”. As expected, some lengthier instrumental sections with all sorts of pretty good breaks and scratching.
El Shabazz, the next track and the last one on side A, is perhaps one of Cool J’s most famous songs, as well as surely the most sampled and interpolated. It’s this 1’20’’ shit-talking acapella freestyle which presents some surprisingly high quality bars. As far as I know, the next track, Rock The Bells, is also one of his most illustrious. Beat on this one is out of control, and of course it has those classic Roland TR-808 drum tones, including that deep bassy kick drum. Nice.
Shit-talking is at an all-time high on this one, and it looks like the more shit he talks the better his bars get. Guy just thrives on being a fiend! You know when a guy’s all for that new wave of hip-hop when he takes this kind of not very subtle stab at his predecessors: “So all you jheri curl suckers wearing high-heel boots/ Like ballerinas, what I mean is you’re a fruit-loop troop”. Another amazing moment in this track is when he compares himself to Michael Jackson and says he’ll make Madonna scream in bed within the space of less than two bars. Oh, to be 17…
I Need a Beat, though, that one might be the most impressive out of this record, regarding both rapping and, most of all, production and DJing. Goddamn but does Cut Creator go off in this shit! No more minimal beats with sparse scratching, motherfucker goes all out to a point where you get so enthralled by the instrumental that you stop paying attention to the rapping at all. But you shouldn’t, since the rapping on this one is maybe the best on this album: it’s complex, connotative, in complete harmony with the beat, even sort of abstract and surrealistic at some points. Might be my favorite.
That’s A Lie, the next song, is funny as hell, even though it doesn’t have too much of a sophisticated gist. It’s basically about calling out liar MCs who make all sorts of false claims about their fame and possessions, here played by the likes of Russell Simmons, record producer and co-founder of Def Jam, who seems to be also playing himself, somehow? I don’t know, but there’s a part in the beginning that goes like: “You know what my records is about, man, you know how much money we get, man (you’re a liar!) me and my man Rick got millions of gold albums (that’s a lie) I’m getting cold money every day (you’re a liar) you’ll need a wheelbarrow for all that shit in my office”. Rick, in this case, is his fellow legendary producer and label founder Rick Rubin; seeing as this was their first full-length album, it’s highly unlikely that they’d have a million of gold albums and a shitload of cash. Gotta say it’s pretty cool to see someone in the rap game laughing at themselves in the middle of a sea of ubiquitous bragging and shit-talking lol.
Anyways, that’s pretty much how this track goes. Verses consist of Cool J ragging on these liars with some pretty funny and well-thought bars, and the hooks are these interactions where this lame character played by Russell stutters and tries to make himself look big while J puts him in his place. Not a very sophisticated track both conceptually and technically, but very well-done and entertaining. You’ll Rock, the next song, is again a braggadocio tune with some pretty impressive rapping, both flow, delivery and lyric wise. You can easily recognize some little samples and stabs there that are still ubiquitous in rap production to this day, as well as the classic 808 tones.
Moving on to the last track, I Want You, we have ol’ Jimbo confessing to a girl again, but now it comes off in a much more sincere and dorky teenage way than that clownery in I Can Give You More. Of course, it’s still pretty braggadocious and boasty, but also kinda vulnerable in a clumsy, endearing way; he’s a nervous but still somewhat confident kid, trying to come up with a way to get close to his crush. Reminds me of the linux thread. Not half bad on the writing front too; lyrics are pretty connotative and elaborate and well-written overall, nicely complimented by the smoother beat and the toned-down, gentler rapping.
Even if some particular things about it haven’t aged that well, this album is a lot of fun if you don’t overthink it, and has a lot of hidden gems, most of all on the back half there. It’s pretty interesting how this is very much that transitional sound between the old school disco stuff and the more elaborate golden era styles. Nice listen whether you’re a sagely hip-hop scholar like me or not.
