For children, adults, punks, adult punks, dorks, freaks, loners, hipsters, yipsters, yuppies, wookies, cookies, weirdos, freaks, chumps, normies, dummies, smarties, & really just, the people.

Do you know that card game Old Maid?

The objective of the game is to collect all your pairs and not get stuck with the Old Maid. It is easy enough for a preschooler, fun enough for people at a bar, but also totally family-friendly. In retrospect — however — it is totally sexist, ageist, and, well… in our opinion made incorrectly!

So we fixed it.

In the correct version, the Old Maid is a babe — an unmarried, older woman with a crotch-rocket and a helmet that looks like a black cat. The card you do not want, is, however, the Douchebag CEO. The Douchebag CEO is a mean miserable person who does not care for others and thoroughly enjoys inciting conflicts that benefit him or boost his ego, instead of using his power to heal or help people.

The Douchebag’s heart rots inside his chest as he robs his lowest-paid workers, who are often putting in overtime to feed their families, while he works only a few hours a week. He spends most of his time taking vacations and dining at $400-a-plate restaurants without a care for other humans. He puts in as little work as humanly possible, robbing others of their time — staying filthy and disgustingly rich — at the expense of basically the entire planet.

Of course, the Old Maid is a hot cougar who does what she wants and lives her best life!

Don’t be the Douchebag!

The game consists of 52 cards. It’s straightforward and easy to play, a game for having conversations and socializing with — and you can even come up with your own variations of rules!

Buy Douchebag CEO as a gift for all your friends & family! It’s a novelty!


  • The game will be printed through Print Ninja in Evanston, IL.
  • “Pulp Oddyssey” is the intergalactic newspaper printed by Disappearing Media.
  • We will ask for your T-shirt size and color choice once the game is funded. All T-shirts sent will be hand-printed Disappearing Media T-shirts.

Copyright Disappearing Media // Illustrations by Jack Haynes // Song by Swimsuit Addition


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