Mitalee Desai
Aug 9, 2017 · 2 min read

How do you know when you just plain screwed up?

We’re not talking about performance indicators necessarily, those are actually pretty clear. However, if someone starts treating you negatively after you “anonymously” report them to HR for inappropriate behavior (i.e. taking pictures of you at work on their cell phone without your permission), then things get fishy. Women are not hormonal basket-cases, I think most women in tech hope their work gets judged solely on its quality, not external factors, and are willing to err on the side of “it must be my fault” rather than “it’s never my fault, I’m perfect”. That’s one reason women put up creepy behavior from male coworkers for so long (and are then criticized for that).

How do you intend to make progress, if the deck is stacked against you from the beginning?

By working 50% harder, double-checking everything, and expecting nothing. This is not ideal, but it’s the state of affairs.

I’ve been a programmer for 30 years, and have worked with a lot of talented programmers, both women and men. None of them had a chip on their shoulder anywhere near the size of yours

Totally anecdotal. I could say that I’ve met tons of people who have had worse personalities. Anecdotes like this are useless.

IT is fundamentally a meritocracy.

Don’t I wish it! I can’t just “hang out” with my male manager, or get drinks after work with him. We don’t share the same interests outside of work, so that removes that social connection. We have different ways of speaking, which can make a lesser manager think it’s because I’m incompetent. These things don’t matter for good managers, but for many (incompetent, common) managers, more often than not they play a role in the type of work you get assigned and the opportunities that are open to you as a result. This in turn affects your reputation within the group if all you’re judged by is the type of project you’re working on. This is one example of how tech is not a pure meritocracy, despite what some may think. There are a lot of factors at play.

    Mitalee Desai

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