Things I did today sober (installment #2 — part 1)

I used to do pumped up with booze, Adderall and benzos and the differing results:

Arrived on time to a court hearing for a civil matter(unpaid credit card debt of approx $2K on a credit card I don’t remember applying for, paying for things, etc. (This is what happens when a human replaces sleep, water and food with vodka, 100mg+ of amphetamines and a Pez dispenser’s worth of kpins/Ativan/Xanax) A collections company, (Midland [REDACTED] [REDACTED] apparently bought the charged off receivable from the creditor, then passed it along to a law firm. I showed up on time and worked out a payment plan. In contrast:

  • 2009 - the day was November 9, 2009 to be very specific. I attended a court magistrate hearing I requested to dispute a speeding ticket. The hearing was at 9am, in Mansfield, MA. I lived in Watertown, MA ( I realize less than 0.001% probably understand the rush hour commute from these two municipalities, therefore I can only describe it as the worst constipation you’ve ever experienced, fifty fold, attempting to navigate thru an obscure labyrinth to get from point A to B. Google Maps check it out). I hit up a liquor store in Watertown at 8:03am and whacked down a handful of Smirnoff nips. Then another one in Watertown at about 8:15am — one Ketel One nip. Finally got to the Courthouse area at about 9:09am but knew of a liquor store nearby and was nervous. And forgot to bring some benzos. So I went a few blocks away and got three more nips. Finally, got to the Courthouse, parked and walked in at like 9:22am. Late. Shitfaced. Granted, I passed thru the security check, went to the clerk’s office and lucked out the decision maker (the magistrate herself) was running behind. Long story short, the speeding ticket was for travelling at 43 MPH in a 30 MPH zone, it was estimated by a police officer (versus a radar gun — something like that — some technicality ). All I said is that I didn’t see the speed limit sign and the road this occurred on seemed like a secondary highway and I was found NOT RESPONSIBLE. GREAT SUCCESS. I was so happy. Had no idea what it was, maybe she was having a good day, maybe she liked the cut of my jib, maybe she had Bourbon in her coffee — who knows. I left the Courthouse and noticed I was out of cigarettes. Marlboro heavies. That’s Marlboro Reds for you nonsmokers. Ah, why not go to the same liquor store right near the Courthouse. Pack of smokes and another three nips — this time Absolut vodka. Driving north to return to the Watertown area, figured it would be a good idea to make a stop along the way at the then-opened, since closed Filenes Basement for Men in Newton, MA. This store sold quasi-designer name brands (ie Hugo Boss, Seven Jeans…even Gucci/Versace/Prada/D&G sometimes) at cheaper prices because 90% of the merchandise was either past season or irregular/defective. Popped a couple of Adderall pills to spruce up, given it was like 10:47am or something and I had drank ten or so nips of 90 proof vodka in the past few hours, figured driving on the highway I needed to be attentive. Found another liquor store nearby, bought a Gatorade — aaaaand for good measure — one more Ketel One nip — to wash down the two, oval, peach tinted orange 20mg tablets of this beloved Adderall. Kinda chilled in the parking lot and waited for the addies to kick in…
This is getting long…i haven’t the patience to even write the rest…
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