Disha M.
Disha M.
Jul 21, 2017 · 2 min read

Dear Chester Bennington,

You helped me survive my adolescence. Your voice and lyrics allowed me to vanquish my demons. Which is why it’s hard for me to grasp that you weren’t able to do the same. I hope you find a better peace in the next life, one filled with less uncertainties.

I discovered you in 2001, when I was 11 and just learning of the realities of life. The world as a whole was changing and so was my own world. America was still reeling from 9/11 and I was still reeling from realizing that bullies exist, and that they weren’t going anywhere.

Hybrid Theory got me through middle school. Lyrics like, “I find the answers aren’t so clear. Wish I could find a way to disappear” became my mantra on days I wanted to stay home or when there didn’t seem to be an end in sight for the bad days.

In 2003, towards the end of Middle School you released Meteora, and my life was never the same. The moment I heard “Numb” I had an anthem for my life. A fight song against all of the naysayers and pressures I felt I was drowning from.

Numb” may be my favorite song of yours because of the initial visceral reaction I had to it when I first heard it, and I how I immersed myself in it, but it isn’t the only song I connected to. “Somewhere I Belong” showed me I wasn’t alone in feeling alone and lost. “Lying From You” has lyrics that could have been taken straight from my mind, “I remember what they taught to me. Remember condescending talk of who I ought to be. Remember listening to all of that and this again. So I pretended up a person who was fitting in. And now you think this person really is me…” The mask I created and wore would be in place for years to come. In fact, I’m still slowly chipping away at it.

You were also my introductory course in rap music, surprising as that may seem. I was an out of touch Indian girl and was never exposed to it before, but Collision Course changed all that, and I’ve been a fan ever since.

I’ve stayed a fan of yours and the bands since that first moment. Songs like “Leave Out All The Rest,” “Shadow of the Day,” “Burning in the Skies,” “Iridescent” they’ve all meant so much to me. And they constantly remind me in moments that I feel buried and stuck, that it’s just that, a moment, and that it will pass.

So thank you. Thanks for these lyrics, thanks for these songs, thanks for helping me when I didn’t know how to turn to my family and friends. You’ll always be a part of my formative years. Your music helped to heal me, I’m so sorry it couldn’t do the same for you.

)

Disha M.

Written by

Disha M.

I am a mixed bag of absolutes and contradictions. Sometimes I feel that I am so much of one thing but then realize I am a million others as well...