Expectations can kill relationships

Disha Shah
Sep 5, 2018 · 3 min read

From day one, we were born with expectations.

To get into the best school, get good grades, grab the dream job, to be in a perfect relationship, get married before 30, to be the best employee, best daughter, best wife, best parent.

Our life is full of expectations!

Every moment, every day and every phase of life we are building a string of new expectations. In search of love, respect, care, peace & happiness. It just seems so endless.

And we want all of it to be INSTANT.

Our pay packages are growing but our patience is reducing. We want to be successful overnight. We expect our lives to be perfect like an Instagram post where imperfections are hidden and only the best is given. We compare our lives with the people, we have never met, the stories we have never known.

We weigh ourselves with the likes and hearts
But never look at our brightest stars :( …We live in a world of illusion, instant gratification, ego satisfaction & acceptance from people around us.

So what are expectations? Why do they hurt?

Expectations are the way we want the people or the situations to be.

Purely a perception of our own mind. Shaped by our personality traits, experiences, surroundings, desires & priorities.

Ultimately looking for peace & happiness. Left in the hands of other authorities.

Every unmet expectation upsets us. We get angry, frustrated, feel jealous, cheated, depressed, worthless and hopeless. Our life seems in a mess.

We feel why do people hurt us, don’t respect us, don’t love us??? But none of it is true. It’s just that everyone perceives & responds to the situation in a different way.

People don’t hurt. It’s our expectation from that person that hurts us.

If we take a step back, calm our mind & re-think about it: No expectation is right or wrong, more or less. There are ways of dealing with it:

  1. Acceptance vs Expections

We can never have control over people or situations. The only thing we can control is the way we choose to respond.

2. For “THEM” creates expectations but for “ME” creates acceptance.

3. Let’s not wait for anyone to make us happy.

With meditation we can empower our souls and spread happiness to everyone.

4. Let’s develop the attitude of giving rather than expecting.

So let’s look at people around us. Let’s be on the other side of relationships, give love and understand them. Let’s help our colleagues without expecting their help in return. Let’s be with our kids when they struggle to find their passion. Let’s get married when we are ready and not when we are 30. Let’s take a day off and spend time with our loved ones even in our busiest days

Let’s find peace in giving without expecting.

Written by

Founder of Power8, a mental wellness service, helping people control over-thinking and building strong relationships.

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