Its 15th February, the day after valentines day and yes of course didnt get any flowers or anything special but i got something extra special. Its the little bit of taste of covid 19 which makes the day extra special but luckily my loved ones are doing good for now, so thats the special gift I could ever receive. But i do miss my dad, i wish he could be with me holding me so tight when i have high fever just like he always does, not 500km away. But what to do!! Have to adjust with what life taking you.

I feel like im being trapped in nearly 170 square feet and my life is falling part. Maybe i get all these crazy feelings as im doing nothing on bed being sick and worrying about my oxygen level! Well for sure i know im not gonna die so soon. Not lucky enough! Stuck in a room made me realize lots of things. Like who are the people who actually cares for you be there for you when you dont even know how to ask for help and that’s the kind of people you gotta give priorities to, and how people might be suffering from loneliness. Even though we have so many peers to text and call but you feel lonely when you stuck in one place when you cannot move forward its just the days passed by but still your the same.

And it made me realize the wrong decisions i have made for the past few months. Maybe those were meant to happen and i have learnt my lesson. But still i got this unanswered questions inside my head which i know i wouldn’t be getting any answers as well anytime sooner. “Why all the bad things keep happening to me?” I have never done anything bad for anyone. Well at least not that i know of. And wether i have pushed away people who meant to be in my life? Wether i made a wrong decision but i always trust my gut so according to that i didnt make any wrong decisions by pushing them away for their own good as well.

Or it can be gods will to put you to the test to make me realize that i can bear any storm strikes in my life. Just because i can bear up doesn’t mean i deserve it. Isnt it?

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