Unique Advice No One Ever Mentions Before Divorce

  1. Don’t simply put your future in the hands of your divorce lawyer. They are smart and you need a matrimonial lawyer that practices in your state, but no one cares about you more than you do. Question everything you don’t understand because YOU will have to live up to the legal agreement you sign for as long as the terms dictate. Your lawyer will move on to the next case.
  2. Don’t negotiate just to get out. It will ruin you. A lot of people just want to get out of the marriage at any cost. This line of thinking will cost you. Although I agree that you should get out fast (point 3), you have to consider the ramifications of what you sign. Always have an eye out for how something you agree to during your divorce negotiations will affect you in 1,5,10 years or more.
  3. GET OUT FAST My divorce took 2 1/2 years and not only wiped me out, I was actually in debt to my lawyer! Figure out what is important to you and what isn’t. What are your deal breakers and what doesn’t really matter in the end? Be as amicable as possible. Avoid fighting if you can. The only ones who win if your divorce goes long or gets ugly are the divorce attorneys.
  4. More on point 3 I have a friend who told me he was getting divorced. I gave him the advice in point 3 and told him that even though I knew he wouldn’t follow it, that he absolutely should. How did I know he wouldn’t follow it? People are stupid (myself included). We all get emotional. We will fight over a sofa or the forks and knives for hours. At that rate (your lawyer’s hourly rate) you could have bought two sofas and place settings for 12. Back to my friend — He had 76K in savings when he started. 2 Years later he is no closer to divorce and has 6K left. He is miserable, angry, poor, will owe money soon and wishes he had listened.
  5. Talk to as many divorced people as you can. This is important. Most people will put more research into buying a TV than getting divorced. If you had a friend that got divorced, wouldn’t you ask what they did right and what they did wrong? What did they regret and where did they get screwed? Now do that as many times as you can with as many divorced people as you can. Speak to men and women. Find out their mistakes and avoid them. See where they were smart and do the same. Divorced people are everywhere and they all have horror stories or moments of triumph that they are dying to share.
  6. Good luck and for more, please visit Divorce Candor