15 Signs He’s A Good Guy
On several occasions, I’ve heard women talk about what they consider to be a Good Man. Sometimes, i’ll hear them say things like “he does_____ for a living” or “He makes _____ per year” or he drives _____.
Yes… It’s great to have a man who’s financially stable, but by no means should that be the deciding factor on whether a man is GOOD man or not.
Speaking from my own personal experience… I once dated a man who was very well off financially (wealthy)… I can tell you (first hand) that dining at the best restaurants and getting the most expensive gifts (though nice) literally mean nothing if that’s all a man has to bring to the table. Money can’t buy true love (at least not mine).
In my younger years, when it came to picking men… i’ll admit, i made some bad decisions (more than a few)… Ok, A LOT!!! Now that i’m older (and i’d like to think wiser), I’ve learned a thing or two about men and what a good one looks like.
No one is perfect (including me), but here are some of the things that i personally look for in a man before deciding if he deserves the Good Man title.
1. He’s Respectful
This is numero uno on my list of must-haves in a man. I learned (the hard way) to make respect (or lack there-of) a non-negotiable deal-breaker. It’s been proven that when a man truly respects you, it shows in every area of your relationship… the way he speaks to you, the way he speaks about you to others….etc. A strong relationship foundation must be rooted in respect.
2. He Cares About Your Day
Some men ask “how’s your day” while secretly hoping you won’t tell them because they really could care less about your day. Then… there’s the good guy who ask “How’s your day” and you can literally feel that he’s sincere and actually cares about how your day went. If your day was bad… A good man wants to make it better.
3. He’s Honest With You
This is a serious pet peeve of mine… I think everyone is guilty of telling little-white-lies here and there… but when a man is a flat-out liar on any and every occasion…. I can’t!!!!
I once knew a man who i honestly think could get an award for worlds “Biggest Liar”!! this man would constantly (and i do mean…. CONSTANTLY) lie about the dumbest things that didn’t even make sense to lie about. This was a MAJOR turn-off and ultimate deal breaker for me.
None of us are perfect, but being a liar is a serious character flaw that no one should have to put up with. If you meet a man who seems good but has the liar trait… save yourself from future misery and RUN! (fast).
4. He Makes You Feel Safe
Feeling emotionally safe with a man requires you to let down your guard and be vulnerable. This is not a easy(especially for me). When a man makes you feel emotionally safe, that means he makes you feel comfortable enough to open up and share things with him that you wouldn’t dare share with another soul because you know your deepest secrets are safe with him. It takes a good man with a kind heart to make a woman feel like she can be vulnerable. That’s a rare and special kind of man.
5. He keeps his word
A really good sign of a good man is that he keeps his word with you. If he says he going to do something (no matter how big or small) he does it because disappointing you is the last thing he wants to do.
6. He Spends Quality Time
Quality time is very important for a healthy relationship. I’ve seen couples who live in the same house, yet never spend quality time together. If a man loves being with you and spending quality time with you, that’s a great sign.
7. His Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Ever heard the saying “actions speak louder than words”? I remember a time when i was involved with a man who would always say “i love you”. It sounded good, but his words were meaningless to me because he never showed me the love. Anyone can say “i love you” or “i care about you” but the question is…. do they show you how they feel?
8. He Listens To You
This is so so so important. Listening is one of the most underrated qualities in a relationship. This world has too many talkers and not enough listeners. It’s annoying and a major turn-off when a man over talks or cuts you off when your speaking or just seems uninterested in what you have to say. When a man not only listens to you but he hears what you are saying (and engages accordingly), it makes you feel special and shows that what you have to say matters to him.
9. He’s Considerate
This one tends to get over-looked by many but, trust and believe…. a inconsiderate man will eventually get on your last nerve. In relationships… Sometimes it’s the little things that count. I believe, If a man truly cares about you, being considerate will come naturally.
10. He Accepts You For Who You Are
A good man (who’s right for you) will accept you for who you are (flaws and all). He knows you’re not perfect, but he feels you’re perfect for him.
11. He Inspires You
A good man brings out the best in you…. Just knowing him inspires you to be and do better… You bring out the best in each other.
12. He Wants To Better Himself
When a good man comes across a woman he feels might be his Mrs Right, If he’s not in the best position in life…. he will suddenly feel the need to better himself because now he’s not just thinking “Me & I”…. he’s thinking “Us & We”.
13. He’s thoughtful
In a relationship…. Thoughtfulness is a beautiful thing. I believe when a man truly cares for a woman, he’s thoughtful. I once dated a man who stopped in a soul food resturant in Harlem to grab something to eat for himself. Most men would eat, and go (thinking of no one in the process), but this man (being the thoughtful man that he was) knew i LOVE soul food, he ordered me a plate that included all my favorite food and brought it all the way out to my home Queens (he lived in Brooklyn)… He didn’t ask for anything in return. He dropped off the plate and left. I was touch by his thoughtfulness.
14. He Makes You Feel Beautiful & Special
Perhaps one might say… “you shouldn’t need a man to make you feel beautiful and special”. True… However, we ‘re all human…. I don’t know a woman on this planet who doesn’t want her man to let her know that she’s beautiful and special to him.
15. He Has NO Signs Of Abusive Behavior
When thinking of abuse… we automatically think about physical abuse, but in addition to physical abuse, there are many different forms of abuse such as verbal, emotional…etc. It’s extremely important to know the warning signs…. Abuse can start with something as small as he speaks to you in a condescending manner, he raises his voice, puts you down. PLEASE, don’t ever think for one second that this type of man is doing these things because he loves you. Love is gentle and kind…. not abusive.
by Dj Cocoa Chanelle (published 2011)