WP 2 (Part 5): Rediscovering Romance
See You Again by Tyler, The Creator
The Archer by Taylor Swift
Sandbox Love by Alanis Morissette
Fire by Deva Mahal
Beautiful Mess by Left on Laurel
In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel
Daylight by Taylor Swift
While I value privacy in my romantic relationship, I think it’s too important in discovering my identity post-trauma to not write about. My partner and I have been together for over three years, experiencing the most seminal moments of burgeoning adulthood together. Music plays a role in how we communicate because he knows how much I process using music and its significance to me. There are so many love songs out there, but these aren’t all love songs because they aren’t necessarily just about our relationship; they signify my relationship with my identity as someone’s partner and how I’ve reconnected with accepting love from someone.
See You Again by Tyler, The Creator
I proceeded with extreme caution when I stumbled into actual romance. I wasn’t healed from trauma, but he helped to rebuild a sense of trust. He figured out pretty quickly that music was the way to my heart, so he sent me “See You Again” by Tyler, The Creator and said it reminded him of me. He spoke to me on my level with a medium that I adored, so of course it caused me to trust in my connection with him. This song was just another way that he was completely open and unexpectedly honest with me about his feelings with a vulnerability that was refreshing and safe.
The Archer by Taylor Swift
Getting into a relationship after what I endured was scary. I proceeded with trepidation for fear of repeating my past. I was honest pretty early on about my history, but that didn’t eradicate my feelings of anxiety. These lines, “I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey. Who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay?” aligned with my conflicting feelings of excitement and fear.
Sandbox Love by Alanis Morissette
Most of my romantic journey was defined by ambivalence, and this song’s message talks about the arduous process of rediscovering faithful intimacy after having been deceived and hurt by someone previous. It normalizes emotions of anxiety or anticipation while simultaneously enjoying an experience that you get to laugh about.
Fire by Deva Mahal
My partner and I have had a lot of conversations about how to handle the effects of my trauma. He understands that he can’t save me from how I feel and I know that I can’t look to him to heal what’s been broken in me. The line that best summarizes this lesson for me is “You’d do anything that you could to make me happy, happier than I deserve. But I was set on fire, and you can’t heal these burns.”
Beautiful Mess by Left on Laurel
I know that the lead singer of Left on Laurel has anxiety and works on his mental health pretty regularly. This artistic honesty rings incredibly clear through their work. I find that I can apply it to my own struggles with mental health. Because I found myself in a romantic relationship, I was forced to confront my mental health issues from the trauma I’ve experienced. My partnership redefined how I engage in all of my intimate relationships. We are not always perfect, and this song gives voice to my upset at having done something wrong to someone I adore.
In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel
I didn’t see my partner for three months during the beginning of COVID. I was bound to my house with only movies to keep me company. After watching Say Anything I expressed to my partner my love for the most famous scene from that movie. He recreated it for my seventeenth birthday, driving past in his car blaring “In Your Eyes” just as the lead Lloyd Dobler does to win his love back. We had to stay six feet apart from one another so he stayed parked in the driveway while we shared our first in-person interaction for a long time. Needless to say, this song reminds me of just how lucky I am to have someone who listens to me and jumps at the chance to make me happier.
Daylight by Taylor Swift
At the end of this song, there’s a couple lines that Swift says, “I wanna be defined by the things I love, not the things I hate, not the things that I’m afraid of, not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night. I just think that you are what you love.” Every single time I hear this part of the song, I feel inspired about how powerful love is to affect the person doing the loving. I dare to believe that loving someone as incredible as my partner says something about who I am. The whole song emanates the feeling of accepting that you deserve love from someone that inspires you.
