5 Reasons Why You Misinterpret What People Say

It happens to the best of us

Photography: British Plastics Federation

Regardless of who you are, your level of intelligence or understanding, when it comes to what people say, one way or another, we all slip up at some stage, as it’s completely normal.

We are all creatures of emotion, habit, thought and reasoning, which is usually always triggered by the ’cause and effect’ law, so next time you think you know it all, remember that you don’t.

1. Past experiences — Depending on the early experiences you’ve had in your life, which can be both fortunate and unfortunate, this plays a huge role in how you react to what people say. There have been multiple studies suggesting that what we go through in our early lives shapes us when we’re older, for e.g., if you’ve grown up in an environment of practical jokes and varying senses of humour, the odds are higher that you’re going to be less offended in future conversations or with fleeting comments by people who are simply poking fun for the sake of a cheap laugh. Therefore, on that basis, it makes sense that we react in the way we do. You are simply a product of your upbringing, and we can’t all be the same.
2. Mood — How you’re feeling at a time when someone says something to you can be a pivotal factor in determining how you receive someone’s words. If you’re unhappy, then you’re more likely to take what people say to heart and this can lead to defensiveness, but if you’re in a good mood, then, usually, no matter what’s said to you, you’re more likely to shrug it off, deal with it and move on. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to ‘choose’ our moods, which is why a forgiving attitude, like everything else on this list is necessary.
3. What’s deemed acceptable — In the grand scheme of things, we’re all extremely similar, yet at the same time we’re all different and unique. As time goes on, our minds go into their own and they develop their richness and quality we have all come to learn, but in conjunction with conversation, most of us have already established what we like, dislike, enjoy, love, hate, etc. Some conversations in our adult lives can result in adverse reactions, as our minds have already been made up long before any conversation has taken place. We all have our beliefs, morals and values, and there’s very few people who can approach a conversation with enough of an open mind to let certain things go and let a conversation flow, regardless of what’s said.
4. Whose talking — As complex as humans are, we can also be extremely linear at times. Before we come to an informed decision about whatever it may be, sometimes we’ve already passed judgement because of the person whose talking. Sometimes we ignore the things that we know are morally wrong because it may be a loved one speaking, or you admire them for a separate reason, and other times we disregard what people say, as it may be somebody who we dislike, again, for something completely unconnected. Our biases can be deceptive and distract us.
5. The day you’re having — So many things can happen in our daily lives, it’s impossible to recall everything, but then there’s those days by where you’re alert, perceptive and completely awake, and everything that happens is analysed and thought of in copious amounts. Now and again those days can consist of moments that confuse, annoy or upset you, and they’re the days you’re lead astray. If you’ve had a day where everything has been positive, then, figuratively speaking, nothing and nobody can do you wrong, whereas if you have a day where things have gone ‘against you’, then your back will become stiff, hardened and your tongue may be particularly sharp, and will likely be used unnecessarily. Although it may feel like it at times, the world and the humans who inhabit it are not purposely against you, so try not to forget that.