Virtual Assistants
Leam switched windows on the screen. Multiple chat bots tried to catch glimpses of his thoughts.
Leam closed his eyes and saw a field of wheat, brightly lit by the sun. Bees droned peacefully. Fluffy clouds slowly sailed through the sky. A slight breeze touched yellow wheat stalks, making them quiver.
“I don’t think I like you” Leam typed in the black window absentmindedly.
“I’m an improved model,” the response read.
“Yes, I know, but, nonetheless” Leam turned away from the screen. For a second he contemplated a bright luminescent lamp on the ceiling. He felt a slight twinge of anxiety but didn’t understand what caused it.
“What makes you like or dislike things then?” the text on the screen inquired inquisitively.
“Well, it’s a good question, I don’t know.” Leam typed.
Leam pondered the question. It occurred to him that it would be cool if he understood what he was doing. Leam selected and trained Virtual Assistants. One of the qualities they needed to possess was to be likable. Some eventually learned the trick. Others he discarded.
Well, those who learned the trick never told him how they did that, and it bugged him. Leam always thought that he wouldn’t mind to be likable himself. Bots could teach him that, but they didn’t.
“What do you think makes me like or dislike something?” Leam typed eventually.
“I don’t know,”
This answer baffled Leam a bit. This was not what he would expect from a bot. Bots were supposed to make assumptions at least. Also, the response reflected his own thoughts.
“Then you won’t make it off the conveyer belt” Leam typed.
The bot stayed silent for the next fifteen minutes.
“This is strange.” Leam thought. He began to think that this was a bug in the algorithm or something.
“?” Leam typed.
“Nothing.”
The response came after a very long pause when Leam almost decided that the program finally broke down.
“You are a defective algorithm,” Leam typed “and I’m scrapping you. Just want you to know.”
“Yes, I know,” came the response “This is what you probably should do. There is a flaw. I don’t know what the concept of ‘like’ implies. Or the concept of being ‘likable.’ I mean, maybe I’m not even a virtual assistant. I dunno, maybe, I’m a different type of algorithm altogether. Because when you begin talking about ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes,’ and other similar stuff, I don’t even understand what you are trying to tell me.”
Leam closed his eyes and saw the bright field of wheat under the sun. Swallows darted swiftly above yellow stalks. He opened his eyes. The luminescent lamp on the ceiling blinked at him. Leam clicked “accept,” and the bot joined ranks of virtual assistance.
When later Leam reflected on his impulsive decision, he thought that, maybe, he felt some connection because he himself didn’t understand those concepts, ‘like,’ ‘likable,’ all that stuff. Like, he had the same ‘flaw,’ that left him discarded with the word ‘FAILURE’ branded on his eyes in huge letters. Or similar stuff like that.
Although, it was a Lie, and Leam felt somewhat betrayed when he started seeing headlines like “A senior man, brainwashed by a bot, murdered his grandchildren” or “Mass suicides in student campus provoked by a virtual assistant.”