Notes to Myself #6
My career has been shaped entirely by my luck, my school, teachers & my parents. I don’t know how much grateful I am for everything and in the same time unthankful because if there was no guiding light I could’ve sailed in the canvas sea making my own road. I have a tendency to cling to someone always. I always had support at every stage in my life. I guess I am just so lucky to always find someone to keep me right.
When I was a kid my mum asked me what I wanted to be. I had no answer to the question and asked her for options. She told me I could be a policeman fighting bad guys, an army personnel protecting the nation, a doctor curing the people who’re hurt or an engineer earning fat money without doing anything. I told her I wanna be an engineer.
Not to blame her but most of the people in my small town have the same notion. When they think about engineers, they see a man with enormous belly just signing some papers and getting fat checks. A corrupt, fat man who accepts money under the table and has just finished building his three storey house.
My school days were backed up by my brother who was always there for me. He waked me up early morning to study and taught me to be competitive. Helped me with everything I needed.
My dad is not very well informed person (may be I underestimate him) but it was him who got me my admission forms for Assam Engineering College. That’s another huge decision to shape up my life. I was a spoilt back in college that is another story.
Whatever you do good becomes your story and whatever you fail in becomes your strength. The truth is after college it was totally up to me to decide how rest of my life was gonna be. Before joining TCS, I briefly worked in a small company as AutoCAD operator drawing some assemblies of showcases for sweets and food items. Then I joined a college as a temporary lecturer. I had rough time back then but also some of the most beautiful days, learning to live on my own.
My girlfriend supported me a lot during difficult times at work. I have learnt a lot from her. She taught me to be strong and practical but I can’t put a chain on my thought horses, they just fly away to imaginary world where I am fragile again. The world can be cruel but why think of it that way if it makes you unhappy. Imagine a world where you can be yourself.
I survived. I came a long way and when I look back I could see everything that I have accomplished is the experiences from different phases of my life. I just smiled thinking about my childhood, running naked feet, rolling on the grass, jumping over the sand, playing hide and seek. These memories, they are so vivid, so colourful and so precious, so divine. I will be fine, I have no regrets in life.
Way she shows me I’m hers and she is mine
Open hand or closed fist would be fine
The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine
