Who is running your life: Fear or Love?

Delia Neyra
Jul 21, 2017 · 5 min read
Lisbon, Portugal

It is nearly ubiquitous knowledge that every human being has two voices within: one that is always joyous, hopeful, optimistic and calm amidst any circumstances. This one has been known to be particularly harder to hear. It’s the one that always encourages you and loves you. On the flip side, there also exists what is typically known as the ego, that voice that leans on the louder side. It is loud, it is scared, it is aggressive, and all around pessimistic. It wants to be in control of EVERYTHING.

In our day to day lives, we operate on either one of these at any given moment. If you’re conscious enough, you have probably learned to meditate to quiet the panicked voice of the ego, that continuous stream of thoughts, and tuned into those comforting whispers that always point you to your inner truth. Even if you do not meditate and still choose to hold the best intentions, to act kindly and respectfully wherever you turn, and to do things you truly enjoy, then you are listening to the voice of love. You can clearly tell when you’re listening to this inner wisdom by examining your emotions: you may feel excited, cheerful or compassionate. In a nutshell, you will always find yourself smiling or feeling good when operating under love.

On the contrary, when you follow the ego’s guidance, you probably feel stressed, bad-tempered or melancholy. You probably feel constricted, as if you cannot breathe deeply. You are probably slouched and hold a worried look on your face. Other than observing feelings and bodily reactions, you can also tell whether the ego is sitting in the driver’s seat of your mind when you are completing an activity only to impress others, out of obligation, or to gain fame or accolades. The ego may want things for you that are good, for example, it may want you to get a PhD as in my case. But, the way that it goes about attaining a certain goal is usually unhealthy. It wants you to struggle, to not get enough sleep, to people please, to overwork yourself. Basically, it is an unpleasant, perhaps even excruciating experience attaining whatever goal you have in mind because the ego will not let you enjoy it. It’s self sabotage, really.

To summarize in one word, the ego can always be reduced to fear. It’s fear of not being good enough, of not having enough, of whatever. It’s fear plain and simple. So personally, I will use the ego and fear interchangeably, just as I use inner wisdom/higher self/true self/God within/soul/intuition/inner turth interchangeably with love.

Now, how have I learned to live with these two voices? More specifically, how have I learned to listen to the voice of love more and more and the ego less and less? The best solution in my opinion is not to ignore the ego, but simply to dialogue with it. Invite it in and offer it a cup of coffee or tea. Don’t resist, but rather, work with it. Then, start the conversation by asking questions and remaining curious, for example:

Why do you think that way?
What do you think is going to happen if I do _____________?
Why do you always think of the worst case scenario?
Why do you want this house, this person, these clothes, this degree, this job (etc)?

If you notice, there is no judgment in these questions. Once you bring in judgment, you’re defeating the purpose of speaking with the ego and working under it once again. So I repeat, leave the judgment out and stay curious.

Then, the ego’s answers will usually sound like:

Because I have to prove my worth.
Because I have to impress others.
Because I want to feel superior to others.
Because I want to feel famous, and on and on.

Once you get those answers, keep the questions coming in order to uncover unhealthy thought patterns or stories that you were conditioned to culturally, socially or within your family. This kind of conversation will always lead you to the root causes that have guided the ego throughout your entire life. You will probably recall when you learned to feel unworthy, or when you learned that you had to work extremely hard to earn money, for example.

By practicing being honest with yourself and sending love to these old stories that no longer serve you, the ego’s voice will become quieter. For any situation at any given moment, you can ask the question: Who wants this: the ego or fear? And trust me, you will intuitively know.

I believe life comes down to this: you can either listen to love or fear. You can choose to not start your business and remain afraid and intimidated by the ego. Or, you can choose to feel confident and follow your dreams. It is always up to you.

As I have been reflecting quite a lot recently, I realized that I had done many things in my life because the ego wanted admiration or approval from others. At this point in my life, I am choosing to do things differently. From now on, I only want to operate under love/higher self because I want to perpetually feel good. I only want to listen to the voice of love so that I stay true to myself and follow my dreams. I no longer want to live my life for others, but entirely to please myself. I only want to do the things I truly enjoying doing.

Love ALWAYS knows what’s best for me. I can appreciate and heed the advice of others, but at the end of the day, I trust my intuition/love enough to make decisions based on its guidance.

I hope you take stock of your life and examine your recent decisions. I hope you have the courage to ask who chose to do certain things in your life: either love or fear. My wish for you is that you learn to listen to your intuition and operate from that place of love always, as I am learning to do so.

love,

delia

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Writing for the soul. cafeconinspiracion.com

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