Hi, for what it’s worth, I’m an Air BNB Super Host, so I’m familiar with the whole way it works.

There is no way a person reading your article can know the truth, as your story is yours, and the other sides to the tale aren’t told (by them). What catches my attention, however, is the many ways, and the tremendous effort you have put into telling your side, to achieve what? Injury to the other parties, perhaps? Revenge?

I have had great experiences with my guests, and have written only one negative review, and he too claimed to be clueless as to how he’d been a less than great guest. I gave him a long list; half-eaten food and bulging trash bags left piled around, no beds stripped as requested, no towels put in one place like we ask (it helps us find every towel, every sheet). Dirty dishes in the sink. it took us three times longer to clean after he left than any other guest. My thought about guests are, they need to treat your place as if they are staying at a good friend’s house, with extraordinary respect and care.

So your host made a mistake, why couldn’t you just be gracious and respectful and move on? I’m a therapist in my day job, and clients tell me stories all the time. I’ve learned that if the story doesn’t make sense, they’re leaving something out. Your story doesn’t make sense. Air BNB kicked you out because of no good reason?

What would make sense is if your reaction and response to your host was too intense, your protesting done in a scary way, which the host would report, and probably suggest that Air BNB not risk having you stay in their venues anymore. What would make sense is that Air BNB saw you as high-risk, a potential troublemaker.

I think the fact that you took your case to other web sites and posted the story again and again speaks to the fact that there is something in you that has to be right, and you have to be the victim here. You will not, or cannot see their point-of-view, and that in itself is dangerous.

There is a very common defense mechanism we see in the therapy room, it’s called, “Offending from the victim position.” This is when someone, who has clearly done something wrong, somehow manages to turn the tables on the person they wronged, while playing victim at the same time. I think that may be what’s going on here.

    Becky Whetstone, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC @doctorbecky

    Written by

    Marriage & Family Therapist & relationship guru. Huffington Post & Medium contributor, former columnist, San Antonio Express-News. Motto: You have to be nice.