This weekend, millions of people across the United States will be firing up their grills and plunking down hamburger patties and grilling them. And those millions of people are all cooking cheeseburgers the wrong way. In my feeble attempt to save your taste buds from yet one more badly cooked cheeseburger, I offer you the definitive guide for cooking the perfect cheeseburger. Use this power wisely as any mis-application may result in you being invited to many BBQ parties only for your cooking skills.

Ingredients
As with every recipe, the perfect cheeseburger starts with the perfect ingredients. Luckily, the list is…


I can’t remember what the bully looked like, but this is what I see in my mind’s eye today. A screen grab from A Christmas Story.

I decided to publish this in full here after hearing Elizabeth Warren speak in Cincinnati today. It is in my book, Monkey with a loaded typewriter, Mostly true essays. Warning: This may be offensive to some. I don’t care.

When I was about twelve years-old, there was this family of ne’er do-wells who moved into a rental house on Dale Street, between Lafond and Blair in St. Paul. You can look up the neighborhood using Google Maps and take a gander at the kind of neighborhood it is.

Four plus decades passing has gentrified the area by leaps and bounds…


I’m voting for Donald J. Trump for President of the United States. My reasoning is quite simple and straightforward. Here it is.

In January, 2017, my health insurance provided by Anthem BC/BS of Ohio will most likely increase another 20–29%. Yes, folks, a 29% increase is perfectly legal in Ohio. The Ohio Department of Insurance assures me Anthem requested the increases and it was approved. I’m in a long protracted letter exchange with the ODI as well as with my only Democratic representation in Congress, Sen. Sherrod Brown.

The thread to my government is as thin as a human hair…


It just now occurred to me that I am a middle aged man with a beard living in an open carry state driving a four ton white van with a handicap hanger. I could be the most outwardly fascist jerk of a bigot on the face of the planet with impunity. Do the Democrats really want to flip the switch that’s resting just below the surface?

Are they that oblivious to the existence of me and those like me who have to hide their socialist tendencies to live safely amongst their RWNJ redneck neighbors? Are they oblivious to the dangers…


After I published my book, Monkey with a loaded typewriter, I had intended to quit writing on my blog and start writing on Medium.

It’s been fifteen months since I published the book that I have contributed anything meaningful to the Dogwalkblog blog. I have published lots of photos, tweets, periscope broadcasts and snaps but nothing longer than in-the-moment material.

It may have run its course yet I am reluctant to give up the dogwalkblog identity.

We’ll see where it goes, if anywhere.

Buy my book. It’s on Amazon.

DogWalkBlog

Three dogs, one human. We dunno either. All puns intentional. Name: Rufus Dogg | Book: http://amzn.to/1CogNRZ | Handler: @gerardmclean

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store