Lessons in Life Proactivity to Focus on The Big Work

I’m one of those people obsessed with simplification and removing as many of the small annoying decisions from my life so that I can focus on the important work. Many people try to remove full stop things that can be important — ie meetings — but they are actually inundated with many small decisions that are the true source of their strength and focus being depleted.

Did you know that we have a finite amount of decision making energy throughout the day? Science has proven that our self-control gets less throughout the day. Ever wonder why you’re able to resist eating peanut M&Ms for breakfast, yet when that afternoon snack rolls around its oh-so-easy to grab the M&Ms and feel great about it? Well, now you know.

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The struggle to simplification is real though. The world doesn’t want us to simplify. Especially in America, we are constantly bombarded with the message that more, more expensive, or more complex is better — a better car, a unique password for every service, a bigger house.

All of these things, though, add more complexity to life. You have a better car? You’ll have to more carefully consider if you can afford to leave that job that kills your soul every day. And let’s not forget about fewer places that can work on it and higher repair costs (Audi owner here). Bought a bigger house? Now you need all the things to put in it, more than you need. A separate password for each service? While important for security, how many passwords a day do you have to remember and get wrong a few times before you succeed? Each one of those actions eats away at your decision making energy repository and makes it harder to focus on the work that matters.

Here are some of the things I am trying that have helped me get rid of some of the little decisions each day so that I can focus on what matters.

Streamlined the basics I wear every day

Some people recently have written about how they wore the same outfit every day for a period of time (they had multiples of the same pieces so they didn’t smell). While I admire that sentiment, I enjoy some variety in my wardrobe. I like cool socks and the ability to dress up or down depending on the need or my mood that day. I realized that if I just wore the same thing each day, is a) get depressed and b) would feel stressed about never being quite appropriately dressed for any occasion.

I decided to go part of the way. A month ago, I went through my sock drawer and threw out every sick that either had a hole in it or no match. Then, I got brand new socks from a combination of Muji and Jcrew. Now, I have a drawer of only matching socks with no holes in them. I didn’t go as far as only having black socks, but this remarkably reduced my morning stress.

Next, I realized that undershirts stressed me out. I don’t want to look like a slob, and wearing crew-neck undershirts made me feel a) not put together and b) like a college student. The solution became to get rid of (or hide deep in my drawer) the solid color crew-neck shirts I and been wearing, and to go buy a bunch of $10 v-neck shirts from H&M and Muji. For $70 I eliminated another chunk of decisions each morning.

There are many other decisions I’ve made to streamline my morning routine so that I show up at work fresher, such as coffee type and commute choices, but I think you get the idea. By eliminating decisions early in the day, you save energy for later in the day.

Automate as much as possible

I wrote a post about life automation before, but automation of bills and other life things (like saving) has been a game changer for me since I read Tim Ferriss’s The Four Hour Work Week back in 2008. Tim, I still give you a lot of credit for getting to where I am today.

When I get home at night, I’m tired. I have the dog to take out and then often need to think about dinner, or have more work to do until my wife gets home and we can make the dinner decision together. Weekends are for de-stressing. I don’t want to have to dedicate a night a week or a month to paying bills. That sucks and I know that I’ll be late on some bills.

By automating bill payments, the amount we save each month, and setting goals within Mint and receiving an email when we meet them, I’ve all of a sudden turned annoying decisions into a pleasurable experience (ie I see a bigger number in the savings account, my credit score getting better because I pay things on time, and that email about meeting a goal gives me a shot of dopamine).

Automation turned tasks that I dreaded into pleasurable experiences. What a win!

Put a value to my energy

I value my energy like I value my time. If you’ve ever freelanced for any period of time, you learned very quickly that some things are worth your time and others are not (re-read the automation section above if needed). You also probably started viewing your time as a commodity that has value. Viewing life this way (though not all the time, because then you won’t value the serendipity of relationships like you should) then makes it easy to make decisions like “Is it more valuable for me to come home each day at lunch to walk the dog and lose an hour at work, or to pay $14 a day so I don’t have to do that?”. You probably can guess what I chose (our dog walker is amazing, by the way).

The decision to pay for dog walking was a time decision primarily. But, for me it also became an energy decision. I realized that it was more stressful and distracting to me to not be able to schedule lunch meetings and to work my calendar around going home than it was worth. The decision to go home to take the dog out actually became multiple decisions each day, which further eroded my ability to focus. By making a decision, I was able to focus my energy on something I deemed higher value and felt great about it (and my work became better too).

Simplification is special because it’s hard

People tend to overcomplicate their lives. How often do you hear “Busy!” when you ask someone how they’ve been or how life is?

It’s not natural for people to take a step back, identify their most stressful areas of life, and put in place a plan to reverse that. I believe that this is because most people work from a stance of reactivity not proactivity.

Here’s an example of how being proactive in life has served me well.

Late 2012 I was working fulltime at Distilled, consulting on the side, speaking at conferences, blogging frequently, and was getting back into the dating world. I decided my life was too busy and that I needed to simplify. I also decided that the money I was making on the side from consulting wasn’t needed anymore and it was taking up time I’d rather spend doing fun things with others.

So in November 2012, I decided that within 6 months I wanted life to be slower. I told all my freelance clients that Iwas not going to renew contracts but that I'd be happy to help them find someone new. I kept receiving leads for consulting though, so I launched HireGun.co in January. By April my life was way less stressful (and I met my now-wife in January of that year) and I was making the same amount each month from HireGun that I was consulting.

Life is not meant to be lived from a place of reaction. When life throws a curveball at you, you can either react (and swing wildly and likely miss) or respond (by either choosing not to swing or by putting your hips into it and nailing that damn ball).

Take control of your life and simplify it. Start with small things, like socks. Build to bigger things, like money. Proactivity is a muscle that you need to work out. It’ll be sore for the first month, but then it gets easier and eventually becomes a habit.

Good luck.

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About me

I’m a growth marketer, an entrepreneur, a husband, a cyclist, a rock climber, a coffee fiend, and the proud owner of a very big black lab. I work in growth marketing, run HireGun, am building a few ecommerce shops, and live in San Francisco with my wife Courtney.