How can we handle destructive criticisms in our life?
Let’s face it. We all have to deal with destructive criticisms in our life. But, first of all, let me define it in my own term.
For me, destructive criticisms are the criticisms from the people who simply want to put you down. Who are they? They can be your friends, your family members, teachers. They can be anybody, seriously. Why did they do that? To be honest, I don’t know, maybe I guess it makes them feel better about themselves.
How can we recognize which ones are destructive criticisms? In my experience, if somebody criticizes you without giving a valid reason, it is a destructive one, for example, your boss said this to you, “You are a stupid employee, if you don’t improve your work, you will be fired.”, or your sister said this to you, ‘you are ugly, nobody will want to hang out with you.’ All of them have the same pattern, they are just an assumption of somebody about you. No more, and no less.
What can we do about it? Very simple, just smile, do what you gotta do, and stay away from them as far as possible. It is easier said than done since what if we work with them everyday or they are our loved ones. If you are in these kinds of situations, let them know upfront, I mean it. Let them know that they are giving you destructive criticisms and it is bad. It destroys relationships. If they really care about you, they will listen, and change. If not, you know what to do next, right? Move on. It can be either quiting the job, breaking up with your boyfriends, girlfriends, move out of your family… Later, they will understand why you want to stay away from them.
However, keep this in mind, the people who love you and care about you deeply will never do anything that make you want to stay away from them. :)