The Astronaut’s Guide to Office Atmosphere: Building Constellations, Not Black Holes

Picture a scene that’s all too familiar in many workplaces: On his first day, Rick greets his new colleague Shawna with a genuine, warm smile. But as weeks turn into months, that smile transforms into something forced, a mere shadow of its former sincerity. Rick’s initial supportiveness towards Shawna shifts into micromanagement and public criticism, driven by his insecurity over her competence. This transition from cordiality to toxicity doesn’t just affect Shawna; it casts a pervasive shadow across the team.

Now, imagine if this scenario was framed differently: ‘The night sky would be awfully dark with just one star.’ This statement isn’t just a poetic musing; it’s a powerful metaphor for the collective brilliance we bring to our workplaces. In a sky filled with stars, each one contributes to dispelling the darkness, just as each team member can brighten the workplace. Yet, in the complex constellation of office dynamics, navigating these relationships can often feel like steering a ship on a starless night. Workplace toxicity, insidious and draining, has the power to dim even the brightest of stars.

But fear not, the journey through these celestial challenges is not a hopeless one. Equipped with the right navigational tools, we can not only find our path but also contribute to a constellation of positivity and collaboration. The following strategies are your guide through this cosmic expanse, helping to ensure that your light, along with the lights of others, shines bright and clear.

Be a Constellation Builder

Alright, it’s time for a conundrum: are you more of a problem-spotter or a solution-finder? The problem-spotter is like that character who’s great at finding traps but keeps falling into them. On the other hand, the solution-finder is the one who builds bridges over those traps. Which avatar do you want to play?

When we obsess over problems, it’s like fixating on that one cloudy spot in a starlit sky, ignoring the sparkling constellations. In our office universe, this translates to not just crying over spilt coffee but figuring out maybe we need better coffee mugs (or better coffee, for that matter).

When faced with a challenge, instead of waving the white flag of frustration or becoming a finger-pointer, ponder on what can be done to make things better. Here are some stellar strategies to help you shift from being a black hole of complaints to a supernova of solutions:

• Start your day with meditation or breathing exercises. Think of it as your personal force field to keep you calm in the asteroid field of daily challenges. I also mentioned this in my other article “The Art of Doing Nothing”
  https://medium.com/@dominic.etli/the-art-of-doing-nothing-9efb7e48647f
• If a coworker’s actions make you want to launch them into space, take a spacewalk instead (aka a brisk walk outside or some good ol’ desk stretches). It helps to cool down your jets.
• Spot something positive in that coworker who’s as prickly as a cactus. Maybe their coffee mug collection is on point? Genuine compliments can sometimes soften the spikiest of colleagues.
• Be the unsung hero who volunteers for the task everyone else avoids like an alien invasion. It shows you’re a team player, plus you get to save the day.
• Swap complaints with solution-centric talk. Instead of “This meeting could’ve been an email,” try “What if we have a focused agenda for our meetings?”
• Made a mistake? Own it like a captain owning their spaceship. Apologize, then steer back on course with a solution.
• Practice the art of listening — it’s like tuning your radio to the right frequency in a crowded space station. Don’t interrupt, and try to really understand the other person’s transmission.
• And finally, don’t let small annoyances stick to you like alien goo. Shake it off and keep your dignity and respect intact.

Embracing the role of a solution-finder doesn’t just make you a star player; it turns you into a veritable architect of office constellations. It’s about empowering yourself and those around you to convert galactic challenges into opportunities for growth and interstellar collaboration. Beam up these strategies, and you’ll be navigating the office cosmos like a seasoned space explorer!

Navigate by the North Star

Choosing positivity sometimes feels like being in one of those overly optimistic self-help books where every page screams, “Smile, and the world smiles with you!” Sure, a cheery attitude in the office can be as refreshing as finding an unoccupied bathroom during the morning rush — it’s a welcome mood-lifter. Dishing out compliments, celebrating the tiniest victories, and chuckling in the face of a Monday morning crisis aren’t just fluffy acts of positivity; they’re the emotional equivalent of doing push-ups with a smile.

But let’s be real here: not every office scenario is a “turn that frown upside down” moment. We need to spot the fine line between genuine positivity and its evil twin, toxic positivity. The latter is akin to putting a Band-Aid on a broken leg and calling it first aid — it might look like you’re helping, but you’re not really fixing anything.

True positivity isn’t about pretending every day is a walk in a rose garden. It’s about acknowledging when you’ve stepped on a thorn and admitting, “Yep, that hurts.” It’s about creating a space where your team feels comfortable sharing what’s really going on, not just bottling it up behind a facade of “everything’s fine.”

When dealing with challenges, remember, positivity can be contagious, but it needs to be the right strain — the kind grounded in reality. It’s about having those open chats where everyone can lay their cards on the table without fear of being brushed off. It’s celebrating the victories, but also not shying away from conducting an autopsy on the defeats. And sure, find the humor in mishaps (because if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry, right?), but also know when it’s time to put on your serious face.

In our quest for a healthier workplace, let’s aim for a kind of positivity that knows when to high-five and when to lend a listening ear. It’s the kind that doesn’t just plaster on a smile but offers genuine support, like a sturdy office chair that’s there for you, lumbar and all.

Chart Your Inner Galaxy

In the grand theater of the workplace, it’s easy to cast ourselves as the ever-righteous protagonist. But, what if we’re not just the hero in this narrative? What if, sometimes, we’re the unintentional villain in someone else’s story? This is where the journey of looking inward begins.

Reflecting on my career, there’s one particular instance that stands out, highlighting that despite our best efforts, some workplace challenges remain stubborn. I once worked with a colleague, let’s call him ‘Mark.’ Mark was known for his critical nature and seemed particularly dismissive of my contributions. Initially, I took it upon myself to bridge this gap. I made extra efforts to engage with him, sought his input during projects, and even adjusted my work style to align better with his expectations.

After several months, however, it became clear that my efforts weren’t having the intended effect. Mark’s demeanor remained unchanged. It was a difficult pill to swallow, but I realized that sometimes, it’s not entirely within our power to change Mark’s perceptions or attitudes. This was not a reflection of my failure but rather an aspect of workplace dynamics that we sometimes have to accept.

This experience taught me an important lesson about resilience and emotional intelligence in professional settings. While it’s crucial to try and foster positive relationships, it’s equally important to recognize when to step back and not internalize the indifference or negativity of others. It helped me understand that sometimes, the best course of action is to maintain professionalism, focus on my own growth, and not overinvest emotionally in trying to win everyone over.

However, it’s also about peering into the mirror of self-awareness, asking tough questions. Could your communication be more clear, more kind? Perhaps patience is a virtue you left in your other lab coat? It’s about recognizing that our actions and words are like ripples in a pond — they touch others in ways we might not initially see. Self-reflection is one tool I find incredibly helpful… I realized I often interrupted others in meetings. I worked on being more conscious of this habit, but our team’s loud, free-flowing culture made it hard to change. I realized this issue arose partly from our organizational norms rather than just my personal behavior.

Taking responsibility for your role in the workplace dynamic is like grabbing the steering wheel of change. It’s empowering. You’re not just a passive player; you’re an active participant with the power to influence and transform.

Incorporate self-improvement into your daily routine. Set aside time for reflection, perhaps journaling, meditation, or just some good old-fashioned thinking. Identify areas where you can improve and set actionable goals. Remember, small steps can lead to significant changes.