“ What?” Bennett sluggishly goes about asking his Advanced Placement Economics teacher.

“ You were sleeping in class!” Mr. Dwight angrily explains to him.

“ Oh I was, I’m-” Bennett tries to explain himself before he is rudely interrupted.

“ Principal office now!” Bennett’s teacher screams at him, frustration evident in his voice since this was Bennett’s third time sleeping in class.

Sixteen-year-old Bennett Jennings had always been a star student. As he made the honor roll in middle school while taking time to volunteer and play soccer all at once. Unfortunately, Bennett’s sophomore year saw changes in his behavior and the way people perceived this young boy. He was no longer the star student who could juggle it all, but now became the slacker, a background player in the classroom. At least that’s what people started to believe. Sleeping while the teacher was talking and getting low grades on tests, missing the first honor roll for the first time during the last marking period. Now he was on the way to the principal’s office for the first time also, feeling scared and disappointed in himself as he had slipped so far away from all the things he’d once been in a matter of months.

“ Hello Bennett, how are you today?” Principal Sharma asks the teenager.

“ I’m okay,” Bennett replies to the question in a trembling tone which can be atoned for his sadness.

“ Look, I’ll keep it short, you’re a good kid. What you’re experiencing now is extreme pressure you never experienced before since you never took Advanced Placement classes in the past, is that right?” Principal Sharma asks Bennett this confidently as he believes his statement is correct.

“ Yeah, you are, I think I’m just scared. This year is the first time I’ve taken an AP course let alone three and now with soccer, we are traveling more so I guess that’s it. But, it’s nothing I can’t handle and even though it looks like I’ve been slacking off, this marking period has gone well. We’re almost done in two weeks and I’m on the first honor roll with just AP Biology keeping me off Principal Honor Roll by two points,” Bennett answers quietly, still afraid he may be in trouble.

“ Well I can sense you’re torn up, but like I said you’re just experiencing a lot of stress. To help, I suggest going out with friends or attending our mental health group held by senior Ally Beckman from time to time.” Principal Sharma suggests this while printing out the mental health group’s flier.

“ Thanks,” Bennett said, as he took the bright-colored flier out of his hands.

“ Of course, Midterms are not for another week so just take this time to relax and calm your mind. You’re a good kid, you just need rest, that’s all.” Principal Sharma assures him.

“ Thank you. So, um,” Bennett begins to ask a question before the sound of Principal Sharma’s telephone interrupts him.

“ I need to take this call, Bennett, you’re free to go,” Principal Sharma tells the young man as he goes to pick up the ringing phone.

Bennett leaves the principal office feeling lucky. Three times of sleeping in a row and no reprimand. He now felt like it was his duty to manage soccer, his two internships, volunteering, and AP courses accordingly so he was never put in this situation again.

“ Wow, I left at a good time,” Bennett speaks to himself as he stares at his jet-black watch.

It was time for lunch and now Bennett got to meet up with his three closest friends at Bailey Alack High School. Micheal, Violet, and Delilah. He was so excited to see them and talk about their trip to the movies. A plan that has been in the works for weeks.

“ Jennings is back!” Violet announces loudly with her mouth full of cookies.

“ Yeah, it’s been a long day,” Bennett tells her as well as the rest of the group as he sits down.

“ So. I hate to make your day worse if it was already bad but I need to tell you something,” Delilah speaks in a fast tone which her friends knew indicated that she was hiding something.

“ What is the redhead hiding, I wonder?” Micheal ponders, putting his hand under his chin, rubbing it, jokingly musing as Violet playfully shoved him in return. Bennett simply shook his head fondly as this was a daily occurrence between the couple.

“ I can’t go, I know we have been planning for weeks but we have a new student coming in and I have to show her around the school,” Delilah informs the group, shortly after feeling bad for telling them so late.

“ That’s okay, it’s a part of the After School New Student Program right?” Bennett asked her.

“ Yeah, I just joined a week ago,” Delilah replies, answering Bennett’s question.

“ Well, Violet and Micheal, you guys can still go, right?” Bennett asks desperately hoping they don’t say no.

“ I’m sorry, I forgot until Violet reminded me. We were going to go with you to watch that new Marvels movie but um… I mean since Delilah isn’t going it doesn’t matter anyways right?” Micheal responds, guilt dripping from his voice.

“ A bit harsh, it does matter, we’ve been planning this for weeks but just come out with it. Micheal Mensah, what are you hiding?” Bennett huffs.

“ Ugh, it seems like you boys are always unreliable,” Violet interjects after an awkward pocket of silence settles between the two, “ basically it’s my and Micheal’s first anniversary. I honestly just remembered myself like a day ago. We bought tickets last week for the movie so I knew it would be a bit of a mess to cancel but since Delilah isn’t going and it’s our first anniversary and Micheal had this idea of taking me to the fancy restaurant near Grove street I was thinking we could skip out on the movie? We could all go another day? Is that better? I hope you don’t mind.” Violet finished with an apologetic wince.

Violet and Michael sat, watching Bennett process the newfound information with bated breaths. Violet knew they messed up Bennett’s plans with this dinner. Due to this, she felt anxious as she awaited her friend’s reply.

“ Of course, we can cancel, it’s your anniversary!” Bennett tells Violet and Micheal with a smile on his face, “ make sure to celebrate!”

“ Thank you, we will!” Violet tells Bennett as she hugs him, showing appreciation for his support.

“ Oh Vi, we need to go to the gym and talk to Davies, I want to ask him if he’s trying out for the Basketball team again,” Micheal tells his girlfriend, as he clears his side of the tinted blue lunch table the friend group of four was sitting at.

“ Wait,” Bennett says with a shocked eyebrow raised, “Davies, the one with the dad that asked us if we were black thugs looking to steal from his son?”

“ Yes, Davies’ dad did that but his son isn’t like that, he’s a good guy. Last year, we were the only freshmen on the basketball team and Davies looked out for me.” Micheal speaks confidently, trying to assure Bennett that Davies and his father are two different people.

Bennett isn’t convinced Davies is as nice of a person as Micheal thinks he is but he didn’t have time to argue. He had to see his guidance counselor about SAT dates immediately.

“ Okay, well guys I have to go, I have to see my guidance counselor about SAT help. I’m taking it in the Spring of next year. My mom has been urging me to arrange a date to test so I am.” Bennett says this as he waves goodbye.

“ Bye,” comes out of the mouths of Delilah, Violet, and Micheal as they all begin to part ways too, soon after Bennett’s departure.

Bennett goes to the guidance counselor as he mentioned at lunch and schedules an SAT date in May. After he does this the school day goes by rather fast. Before he knows it, school is over. He walks home feeling a bit disappointed in his friends. He didn’t like how they all were so quick to bail on a plan they have been discussing for weeks. Once he got home though, he couldn’t delve into his feelings anymore about the movie plan for today because he knew his mom would be on his case for his latest sleeping incident in class.

“Bennett!” Ms. Jennings yelled from the top floor.

“ Yes?” Bennett replied with fear apparent in his voice.

“ Oh, I was right, it was my sleeping child that came in through the door,” Ms. Jennings says, with a laugh escaping her shortly.

“ You know?” Bennett asks his mom, in an even more nervous manner.

“ Of course I do. I got a phone call from your principal asking me to check up on you. Honestly, I understand. This year is difficult, it’s not on par with your freshman year at all. Your siblings went through this also. Brendan and Bonnie both had small sophomore slumps but let me repeat myself they were small. This sleeping in class cannot continue. Should your dad and I get you a tutor? We could help you ourselves, but instead of judging you what do you think the issue is?” Bennett’s mom asks him with concern trailing in her voice.

“ Well, it’s just a lot like you said, especially with all the traveling we do in soccer it takes a toll, but I’m fine. Sleeping in class will not happen again.” Bennett tells his mom affirmatively, trying to convince her and himself that he’s ready to get out of this slump he was in.

“ Okay, I believe you. You’re a bright kid, and a good son Benny. But, just because you’re in a slump doesn’t mean you can’t start writing your college essay. As well as applying for scholarships. Not to compare, but both your siblings attend Ivy League schools. Your sister is currently a student at Brown. Your eldest brother is going to Harvard. This is the time to start being serious, and right now I love you I do, but you’re not being serious from what I can see.” Ms. Jennings tells her son this as she arranges her dirty blonde hair into a ponytail.

“ I know, I’m getting out of this phase, and besides what would I even write my essay about?” Bennett asks his mom, feeling defeated about his situation as a whole.

“ This might sound cliche,” Ms. Jennings begins to say as she adjusts her running watch, “ You can write your essay about being mixed. How you’re the last child, with siblings a few years older than you so your view on the world and it is to be a child with an African American dad and French American mother may have changed in comparison to Brendan and Bonnie. Or…”

“ Or what mom?” Bennett asks her, quite curiously as he knows she may be implying a more personal matter to write about for this essay.

“ Being gay, you could write about that and your struggle as well as your coming out journey as you just told me and your dad last year,” Ms. Jennings tells Bennett this as she awkwardly smiles.

“ I guess, I don’t know honestly, can I just go rest?” Bennett asks his mom in an annoyed tone.

Ms. Jennings grants her son’s request when she leaves their three-story house with her running shoes, her rainbow-colored sports watch, and her huge black duffel bag which contained nature bars, water, and other things she knew she would need once she had completed her run for the day.

“ Bye Benny, see you later!” Bennett’s mom shouts from the ground floor that way her son could hear as he had moved to the third floor all the way upstairs. He was lying on his king-sized bed in his room.

“ Yeah, bye!” Bennett shouts back, soon after hearing the door close.

A few moments after Ms. Jennings leaves the house Bennett pulls a gray notepad from under his bed, near his superhero comic book. Wiping the dust off the notepad with his hands he then begins to look for a black sharpie so he can write on what he had just found.

“ Yes! I found it!” Bennett celebrates as he takes off the sharpie cover.

He wrote `` To All Who Keep Me Close: But Not Close Enough on the cover of the notepad. He then opens the notebook and writes page one on the bottom right-hand corner of the first page.

“ Wait! Is this necessary?” Bennett thinks out loud. “ I’m probably overreacting, let me call Violet and Micheal.”

Bennett drops his notepad immediately and proceeds to put his hand into his pocket pulling out his phone. He then goes to his contact list, pulls up Violet Zhang, and calls her.

“ Hello!?” Bennett asks, speaking into his phone.

“ Yes?” Violet responds confusedly. Wondering why Bennett is calling her now.

“ Davies you can’t eat all the ice cream man at one go! It’s on your face!” Micheal speaks to Davies in the background of Violet’s side of the call.

“ Wait? Davies is there? With you and Micheal?” Bennett asks Violet while covering his mouth in shock.

“ Yes, but we went on our first-anniversary date, Davies just tagged along later,” Violet begins to tell Bennett just to hear him end their phone call.

“ I can’t believe it,” Bennett shakes his head in disbelief.

This was the second time Violet and Micheal had brought Davies along to one of their “ dates”. He just felt so bad about himself. He was struggling in school, appeared as a slacker to some people ( now even his mom) and now on top of that, he was being replaced with someone else in a friend group he had been in for more than a decade. I mean, how was it that Davies Thomas, a new student just a year ago had taken Bennett’s spot in his friend group?

“ Well, Delilah can’t possibly be ignoring me too?” Bennett asks himself this, fearing he may be wrong, and she also is purposely avoiding hanging out with him.

Instead of calling Delilah, Bennett decides to go on this social media app he and his friends use. Delilah usually keeps her location on so Bennett decided to just use that to see her whereabouts. Once Bennett glanced at her location he sighed in relief soon after. As she was last seen at Bailey Alack High School for the new student thing that she mentioned previously before. Bennett is relieved and thinks his day is getting better until he sees a text from his mom about SAT prep and why studying now would increase his scores.

“ Great, let’s add onto the sad train for today,” Bennett speaks, with sarcasm evident in his voice.

Now with an SAT book in his hand, he begins to read, picking off where he left off on number twenty-one in the English grammar section. Then, Bennett turns his head to To All Who Keep Me Close: But Not Close Enough and drops the SAT book on the floor.

“ No!” he begins to shout. “ This is my venting time, Violet and Micheal are dropping me for Davies, Delilah always has a student council, student ambassador, or another club meeting cause she’s such an overachiever which leaves me alone every time! I’m tired of it, and I am writing how I feel in this book. No, not a book, this diary!” Bennett spoke, holding back tears.

Bennett after venting out loud begins to write in his diary about how Delilah canceled their breakfast brunch a week ago for…. you guessed it, another club meeting. In addition to the brunch meetup, he writes about how Violet almost outed him to Micheal because she had forgotten that he wanted to keep his sexuality a secret from him since he was from a very catholic family and didn’t know how Micheal would handle the information. Lastly, he wrote about the pills he had been taking to sleep for a whole month, stolen from his dad’s job ( since he worked at a hospital). They helped Bennett sleep but at times could knock him out for ten to twelve hours on some days.

“ Okay, I think I got it all out, I’m done with my first entry for the day and can get back to studying,” Bennett says. Soon after closing his gray notepad, and reaches for his SAT book when he is interrupted by the sound of his phone.

“ Hey, Lila,” Bennett picks up responding to Delilah’s call.

“ Hey, Bennett, I wrapped up my program an hour ago, and…” Delilah proceeds to say before a girl by the name of Avery interrupts her.

“ She met this wonderful girl from the Dominican Republic who happens to be a sophomore just like her and you, she spoke about you so that’s how I know that,” Avery tells Bennett excitedly.

“ How nice, can I speak to Delilah now?” Bennett asks her awkwardly.

“ Delilah, he wants to speak to you! ” Avery notifies Delilah.

“ Got it! Thanks.” Delilah thanked Avery for letting her know. “ Hey Bennett, I’m on your way to your house now. I just got ice cream with Avery and Cole after the student program and thought I should check up on you. Since you’ve been home all day, thanks to us.” Delilah speaks to Bennett with sympathy seeping from her voice as she feels responsible for ruining his day.

“ Hasbrouck, Delilah Hasbrouck you’re amazing. Thanks, I appreciate it. For you checking up on me.” Bennett tells her this, full of gratitude.

“ Duh. We’re friends. That’s what we do for each other. See you soon!” Delilah tells Bennett this as she proceeds to end their call.

Bennett was glad to hear that Delilah wanted to visit him. He thought maybe his relationship with his friends wasn’t as strained as he thought. He blamed himself for exaggerating and picked up his book and put his hand on the page he wrote an hour ago. He goes and is about to rip it until he lets go of the piece of paper and reminds himself that he could need to vent later on. Even if it wasn’t about Delilah, because it’s not like Violet and Micheal were looking to make amends just yet.

As Bennett went back to studying, with To All Who Keep Me Close: But Not Close Enough hidden in his underwear drawer in case he took an unplanned nap; Delilah ( on her way to Bennett’s home) was departing from her boyfriend Cole since he had to cross to get to his apartment building.

“ Okay Delilah, I’m getting off here,” Cole kisses Delilah, crossing and not soon after getting inside his apartment.

“ Okay Avery, it’s just you and me now,” Delilah tells her new friend.

“ Yeah, minus your boyfriend,” Avery replies, glancing at Delilah’s phone as she notices she isn’t paying attention to her reply.

“ Yeah, I just said that, ” Delilah laughs awkwardly while still glancing at her phone.

“ Who’s the hot guy in the picture?” Avery asks unexpectedly as curiosity gets to her.

“ It’s my friend, Micheal, with his girlfriend who is also my friend,” Delilah goes on to say.

She explains to Avery that she shouldn’t get any ideas as they just celebrated their first anniversary today. Avery assured her that she wasn’t, she just made an observation. The two continued to walk and eventually, Delilah had to turn left to go to Bennett’s house.

“ Bye Ave,” Delilah waves at her as she crosses to get to Bennett’s home.

“ Yeah, and bye Violet,” Avery speaks with a devilish smirk on her face. “ I’ve done three-way friendships before, been there and done that.”

Avery didn’t want to find herself in the same situation she did last year when she was residing in Florida. Her friendship and the drama surrounding it were the whole reason for her move to Bailey Alack High School in the first place.

“ I’ve got to break up Vililah, yuck it sounds like a disease,” Avery says, gagging at the thought of Delilah and Violet’s friendship.

As Avery thought of all the different ways to break up the two friends; Delilah was seen just arriving at the doorstep of the Jennings household. She knocked on the door with Bennett’s mom letting her in.

“ Hi Delilah, Benny’s upstairs,” Ms. Jennings points upstairs as she eats a banana, recovering from her run earlier today.

“ Okay, thanks,” Delilah thanked Ms. Jennings.

Delilah walks up two flights of stairs to get to the third floor of the Jennings abode. She goes to the room farthest to the left with the college checklist clipboard on the door handle. She proceeds to open the door and finds Bennett sleeping on his bed.

“ Of course, he has an SAT book next to him,” Delilah whispers to herself.

As Delilah wakes up Bennett she sees his sleeping pills alongside him. She picks up his bottle of Triazolam and once he’s fully awake questions him on how he came in contact with the sedative.

“ How? Why? Was this prescribed for you?” Delilah asks her friend this as she puts her leopard purse down on Bennett’s bed.

“ I stole them from my dad’s job. I need them to calm my anxiety,” Bennett proceeds to tell Delilah, taking a step closer to her.

“ No. This isn’t the answer. This wasn’t prescribed for you. Do you have more?” Delilah speaks with concern evident in her voice.

“ Yes, it’s my fifth bottle. You can’t tell anyone,” Bennett begs Delilah to keep quiet about his addiction.

“ I have to. I assume you have been taking these for a while. Your dad is a doctor, your mom is a therapist they can help you. Only if you tell them,” Delilah tells Bennett this, sure that he can seek help from his parents.

As Delilah leaves Bennett’s room to get his mom, Bennett thinks about how far he’s fallen now, and how it will get worse if he was exposed as an addict. In a split-second decision, the sixteen-year-old gets a 30 lb pound weight from his closet and proceeds to hit Delilah in the back of her head. She couldn’t possibly rat him out now.

“ What have I done?” Bennett asks himself this as he breathes heavily, scared of the repercussions he would face for severely injuring one of his closest friends.

If Bennett Jennings thought things were bad now, what would people think of him when he was exposed as the guy who possibly killed his friend while having unprescribed pills in his bloodstream? With all his thoughts coming to him at once he opens his bottle of Triazolam and swallows five pills from the tiny container. Sleeping off all his problems.