Inhaling America’s Fart History
State of the Union of Flatulence
During the recent State of the Union speech, I noticed that the economy, national security, and the other usual issues were traditional themes.
Imagine if America had an annual “State of the Union of Flatulence.”
That’s right. Farts!
President Joe wouldn’t have to deliver the address. He flashes that mysterious smile at odd times. The country might be distracted by what might be happening behind his podium.
That national address could be passed (Hey. No giggling!) on to Dr. Vivek Murthy, Surgeon General of the United States. The Vice Admiral could promise each household free Beano, the way each family received a stimulus check during the height of the COVID outbreak.
Speaking of COVID, Dr. Murthy could address the versatility of facemasks. Could they protect against being broadsided by a sneaky gas passer?
Most of all, it’s time America stopped hiding from the truth. Yes, keep hiding from the smell, but not the issue causing the stench.
Farts in Medium. Medium Farts? Never mind…
I looked up “farts” in the Medium.com files (so you wouldn’t have to).
