“I find that hard to believe”, he said.
I went to lunch with some friends from writing group Saturday. We talked about many things, but the conversation came around to politics and the President. One of the people, a 30ish? year old man spoke of him as an alien and that he had never seen anybody like him before. Another person, a woman in her 50’s said, Oh, I am very familiar with men like him. I have dealt with many like him. (something to that effect) The man was in disbelief, she repeated herself and elaborated a little. The man then said, “I find that hard to believe.” Then started to dismiss what she had said. I almost missed it, but I stopped and said, “That is the problem right there. You just dismissed what she said completely.” I then went on to explain how what he did is the problem. Women get dismissed all the time and aren’t believed. Needless to say it was a bit tense for a while. He did back down, got the point and apologized to the woman for what he did. He wasn’t being mean, just ignorant and he wasn’t aware of his ignorance until I pointed it out.
It is going to take white men talking to and taking white men to task for this to change. It wasn’t comfortable, but I am tired of this and the only way to change it is for us to speak up. I do the same thing for racism and misogyny. We white males have to make sure women and people of color are heard if we want to survive as real human beings. Sometimes it means shutting up, sometimes it means telling others to shut up.
And yes I know it’s not just white males that do this, but we are the dominant ones in society for now until we allow women to take over and run this world properly. Get the point, not the flaws in the way it’s said please.