Self sabotage, when you are already feeling crap and you just make it worse!pt12.
Slimming world weigh in after one of the worst weeks of my year.

This week consisted of being signed off work for a fortnight, getting my daughters GCSE results, ‘celebrating’ those results, supporting a new friend, sympathising with an old friend hosting a BBQ that had been planned for weeks, eating not enough and when I did eating the wrong thing.
I wish I could’ve curled up in bed and stayed there. Mental health is no joke in fact as I sit here writing this I can feel the tears building at the back of my throats as I try desperately to choke them back. I don’t cry you see not in front of other people and not for myself. Tell me someone else’s woes and I can, ball like a baby, for them but I never, almost never, cry for myself.
It is so difficult to pin point what it is that triggers the downward spiral that I can’t stop.
Perhaps I’ll explore that in another post. However today is about weigh day and whether or not I managed to lose anything in a week full of negative food points.
Let’s examine, the issue I have when I’m at home is breakfast often becomes lunch or brunch. So I missed some meals this week and results day took the cake!
GCSE results were released at 9 am so we of course needed to be there for as close to 9 as possible. I didn’t wake early enough to eat my overnight oats, I had 2 spoonfuls that was it we were in the car. Results collected sighs of relief had tears for others and grade boundaries checked we were off for celebration cake. Huge cheesecake slice from Patisserie Valerie later and we were off home to get ready for my friends book launch.
The book launch was full of nibbles not slimming world friendly I had one little crisp to tied me over to dinner. We had booked a table just me and my girl at Zizi in Market Harborough. The book launch for the paperback of The Sister by my new friend Louise Jensen was held in the Waterstones there. Arriving at Zizi’s I treated my girl to a small glass of rose so we could toast her getting the grades she needed. Wine is also not slimming world friendly. We then proceeded to have a three course meal! I’d planned only two after all we had had cake already. But after the beautiful bruschetta pictured above we both had a cheese pizza. I followed it with this (covers her face in shame)

Lemon meringue sorbet. It was so sharp! The faces I pulled must have been hysterical. Anyway that made results day pretty much a write off.
Then we had a BBQ yesterday and where I did buy slimming world burgers from Iceland I also had three non slimming world sausages, two bread rolls, plenty of salad, home made potato salad, pork with cheese, and hedgehog bread. Then the piece de resistance two chocolate digestives sandwiched together with a heated marshmallow. And it was amazing!
I was very much prepared for a gain on the scales this week and totally ready to blame Jessica for bringing such devilish food to the BBQ. However Jessica you get a reprieve because I lost half a pound! I don’t know how. Perhaps the stress of the week countered some over the over indulging or perhaps the missing meals balanced out the over eating. Whatever it was I was amazed to have lost anything and I don’t take it for granted. I am back on the SW wagon this week with vengeance.
My prediction line has moved back to the wrong side of the 1st of November so I need to reign it in. I also wore a dress yesterday I hadn’t worn since my February holiday and it felt tight, which wasn’t nice. So I feel like I got away with it this week however, I’m well aware it is likely to catch up with me so I will be a good girl this week. I will make the effort to make lunch and eat my breakfast at breakfast time. Hopefully next week will be a better result.
I’m grateful for the loss because I’d have been set back mentally and physically with a gain. Onwards and upwards. If you are working on getting comfortable in your own body and my story in anyway makes you feel less alone in your mess ups then I’m very happy to be on the journey with you. No one can be perfect all of the time. I am fine with having enjoyed every mouthful this past week and only losing half a pound. However, I know I can’t do that this week because I would be slipping back to bad habits. If I can be on plan 80% of the time then I’ll manage to stick to it and follow through.
Until next week.